Hi all,

I spoke with Mary Spicuzza, journalist for SF Weekly, about what do to when the woman has more power, money & drive than the man.

I am one of her quoted experts in this well written article.

SLACKER GUYS & STRIVER GIRLS
When lazy men become projects for career women
by Mary Spicuzza

http://www.sfweekly.com/2007-11-14/news/slacker-guys-and-striver-girls

ADDENDUM:
If you are the White Knight (male or female) who is trying to save your partner in a relationship, and want to know whether to stay or go, these are the key questions to ask yourself:

1) Are they willing AND ABLE to grow, and learn, with you?

2) Are they willing and able to see your side of the story and collaborate with you to have a relationship of joy?

3) Are they generous, and contributive to the relationship with what they have to give:

- Time
- Creativity
- Cooking
- Cleaning
- Ideas
- Handy work
- Child care
- Art
- Etc

4) Do they ongoingly express their love & appreciation of you?

5) Even if they are afraid of commitment or intimacy, are they willing and able to work on developing greater intimacy and vision with you?

6) Are you able to communicate your wants, needs, limits and boundaries in calm, fair, compassionate and self-loving ways?
(If you can’t, this one’s not about them. This is something for you to work on healing and get trained in.)

6) Are you enjoying yourself in this relationship more than you are suffering?

If you answered yes to all (or most) of these questions, your beloved may make less money, or be less driven, but they are a contributive & caring gem in your life. It’s OK to have a stay at home beloved, or an artistic part-time working beloved, if that contributes to the well-being of your home and relationship.

If you find that you usually end up with partners that you are trying to change or save, or who you (at least secretly) don’t respect because of their lack of money or ambition, or who treat you badly, or who are just not that into you. . .

I recommend doing some personal growth work to find your shadow (unknown, blind spot) Inner Selves who are stuck. Receiving coaching, therapy, and personal growth workshops are all great ways to shift patterns.

May your relationships bring joy & healing to the world,
Francesca

After interviewing Alan Davidson, it’s more likely that I will spend more time talking to my body. Alan is an enticing inspiration. Now I know to ask:

How is my heart?
Quiet. Open. Somewhat guarded. Missing my beloved.

How is my vulva?
Shy. Sleepy. Warm.

How is my mind?
Gentle. Diffuse. Channeling the words to you.

How is my gut?
Beginning to let me know she is hungry.

What feels right to do right now?
Finish writing you. Go get some food.

These are the questions that I am remembering to ask every moment. Especially in bed. If I want to be truly present to my erotic sensations, and love, I must have the courage to ask the tough questions and listen to the answers.

Alan tells an amazing story of being overweight, sex-addicted, and wildly unsatisfied then turning his life around to be an amazing model of health, passion, compassion, and success.

You can listen at http://www.personallifemedia.com/podcasts/tantra-kama-sutra/episode026-alan-davidson-sacred-sexual-attraction.html

You can find out more about Alan at http://www.throughyourbody.com/

Let me know what you think.

Lovingly,
Francesca