HI dears,

I’m just back from a 4 day Greek Eleusinian Mysteries Training. What are the Eleusinian Mysteries?

For thousands of years (up to 300 AD) they were the premiere Shamanic Initiation of the West. It was said that after experiencing these mysteries one would never fear death again.

You can find out more about the Ancient Mysteries at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eleusinian_Mysteries

The modern version is a re-creation (based on archeological shards) of the Ancient. It is initiated because one cannot read about it or talk about it and receive the transformation. Like sexuality itself, one can discuss it, and even watch it but once we engage in sex our lives change.

This past weekend was about losing and finding my center, my self, and miscelleanous stuff. My tent was flooded and I ended up sharing with other participants and moving my stuff 5 times. Along the way, I felt so displaced, so lost, so without a home. I thought, “it feels like I don’t belong anywhere.”

But then I had a realization . . . what if all this transitioning meant that I could belong everywhere?

Suddenly, it just didn’t have to be black or white, good or bad, for or against. I could stay open to the gift in each experience. Something inside me shifted.

This perspective of Non-duality (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nondualism) is essential to the heart of Tantra. Prior to this weekend, it had eluded me. What a gift to have it brought home.

In my daily life, my beloved was thinking of teaching ESL in a foreign country. I had been so angry with him and had perceived it as an abandonment. With the gift of nonduality, I could look outside the box. What if this adventure of his would become an opportunity for me to travel? What if we could both grow and deepen with the extension?

A practice of non-duality is to ask yourself:

- What if it was both this and that?

Let me know your adventures in non-duality.

May we be the peace we wish to see in the world,
Francesca

Well, you’ve heard of kinky. Yes?

Tie me up. Tie me down. . . kind of kinky. The kind that has us thinking of dungeons, blind folds, whips, and leather. Having a kink is when we are exclusively focused on specific types of sexual behavior to get aroused.

While the world of BDSM may be delicious for some, it just wasn’t my thing. Actually, it took me quite awhile to figure out my Turn On because so few people talk about it.

I tried - BDSM - 3somes - making love while others watched - erotic dance - all the sexual positions and orifices - polyamory - cheating - pornography - sex parties. Something was missing.

At times I could get a high, a rush. At times I felt a compulsion. But what I didn’t get was “full”, at peace, at ease, met, or fulfilled. I loved the highs but they were always followed by the lows. Or an unending drive for MORE. . .

I began to sense that part of my sexuality was a drive to perform, or to make someone happy, or to addict someone to me, or to get high, or to prove that I was worthwhile. I noticed it was challenging to release control to another. I noticed that I would often stick around for being treated poorly if the sex was good.

The ways I was used to having sex, or thought people usually wanted to have sex started to feel off.

All the while certain books that combined a sense of spirit and eroticism drew me.

I began to experiment with slowing down, looking into my partners eyes during sex, trying to feel how they were feeling during sex, slow music, slow breathing. My biggest breakthrough came when I attended two (women only) workshops put on by www.BodyElectric.org

In Body Electric workshops I was led through exercises of sensual awakening, erotic pleasuring, dance, and genital talk. They taught in ways to make it clear that there were givers/providers and receivers.

I discovered that when I was a giver that I was centered, calm, heart open, released of agenda. I felt like the goddess open to the Night Sky and ALL that is.

However, when I was the receiver it was a different story. I was scared. Tender. Shut down. I looked at the women who were going to touch me and I said “Before you touch me, can you tell me authentically that you feel present to love for me.” They said yes.

Then I asked them to hold my hands and speak affirmations and appreciations about me and my body. We did that for 5 to 10 minutes before it felt right to be touched. The whole experience went glacially slow yet exquisitely perfect.

The realizations I learned from slowing down to receive were shattering in the best ways:

I realized that I had spent years rushing into sex as a way to avoid intimacy.

I realized that I had spent years searching for a high instead of healing.

I realized that what moved me in sexuality was the intention, heart, and spirit of the person touching me, caressing me, fondling me, or sexing me.

I realized that as a child I had no choice about the way I was touched or treated but that as an adult I had been colluding with my lovers in my own abuse. (Abuse meaning allowing myself to be touched and sexed in ways that were not integrated, authentic, healing, and nutritive for my heart, body, mind, and spirit.)

WOW!

When I returned from the workshops, I re-introduced my vulva to my lover. I transformed the way I made love and it has been mind-blowing.

Using techniques from Tantra, Taoist sexuality, cross cultural sacred sexuality, and deeply authentic intuition, NOW each lovemaking encounter is timeless, healing, expansive, connective, and simply divine. I feel so seen, so heard, so understood, so met, and fulfilled.

I can also bring healing, expansiveness, and reconnection to my beloved.

When we speak of energy, we are talking about the electro-chemical system of the body. Every thought sends a pulse of electricity and string of chemicals through our system. We feel it internally and we resonate with it (like a vibrational field) externally.

In Tantra, every act of sex tunes us into our 2nd Chakra which is all about creation, connection, and creativity. Each sexual act is an act of creating something. What we create ultimately is based on what we think.

Slowing our breath, clearing our mind, and opening our heart brings us into the field of intention where in magic and healing occur.

It’s not what you do, it’s the mindfulness with which you do it. It’s your energy, baby, that makes all the difference.

Anyone else out there Energy Kinky like me?

For 3 years, I co-led a Temple of Sacred Sexuality, Sexual Healing, and Sacred Relationship at Burning Man www.BurningMan.com

It was called The Temple of Ishtar www.IshtarTemple.org We held private sessions, rituals, puja’s, dances, ritual theatre, and workshops.

What I learned was:

- The world is in need of sexual healing, and heart healing (the two go hand in genitals.)

- This stuff works!
It works to teach, dance, commune, and care. Lives are transformed. Hearts are opened. Sexuality is expanded.

- The inner reflects the outer.
As priest/esses we were successful in bringing healing to others to the extent that we were doing our own healing.

After 3 years, I felt complete with bringing a Temple to the desert. I felt called to bring it home to the “real world.”

The HIDDEN TEMPLE

Today, my Temple isn’t as blatant as the one in Black Rock City. It is in me, and I carry it with me where ever I go.

If you are seeking a Temple Healer, teacher, or training for yourself or your relationship, they are out there. You may wish to join www.IshtarTemple.org for more information.

A great book is “Women of the Light” by Kenneth Ray Stubbs
http://www.amazon.com/Women-Light-New-Sacred-Prostitute/dp/0939263122

Blessings on your path,
Francesca