Hi dear hearts,

Britney Spears, Lindsay Lohan, Paris Hilton, Nicole Richie. We see them partying, pretty, in and out of jail. Seeking something. On a high to low, stash and crash cycle.

I can relate to their experience. (You too?) Not only because of my own bouts with running on high, but because research shows that Male or Female we seek:

- Pleasure
- Self worth
- Belonging
- Touch
- Enjoyment

If we don’t know how or where to look, if we have little discernment, no boundaries, and inner pain, we can turn to:

- Drugs
- Sex
- Crowds
- Performance

in order to run away from what aches inside.

It’s never enough. Sooner or later, we crash.

With Tantric relationship and sexuality practices we:

- Develop the courage to show up authentically

- The compassion for ourselves and others

- Slow down to savor all our feelings and sensations

- Come home to our body and soul

I wish I knew someone who was close to those girls. I wish someone had the foresight, oomph, and wisdom to give them the information on bliss that lasts.

In the meantime, I send them my prayers.

Warmth and blessings,
Francesca

Tantra is a magical practice of intention, energy, heart & spirit that make all of life blissful, beautiful and easeful.

How can we bring this into dating?

What is a date?

In the Old Days. . . a date was the way 2 people got to know one another or interviewed one another in the dance of courtship. Fun really. No pressure.

After the sexual revolution of the 60’s, a date became a euphemism for having sex OR there was always the question. . .

- Will she have sex with me because I spent money on a date?
OR
- Will he expect sex with me because he has spent money on me?

It got very confusing at that point. Some women refused to have dates or to let a man pay for them. Some men refused to pay for dates and expected sex just because. . .

For the past 20 years, my clients and workshop participants (male and female) have told me about this confusion, hurt feelings, miscommunications, and shattered expectations.

I believe that the way through the confusion is to practice Tantra while dating.

IF YOU ARE SINGLE:

- Be present

- Clear the mind

- Gently and moderately open the heart to the unique preciousness of this person

- Release expectations

- Keep boundaries, limits (of time, money, and energy) and discernment

- Go slowly

- Create situations that you enjoy AND that the other person might enjoy. A good meal. A walk in the park. Kite flying. Roller skating.

- Keep your mind and your heart in the present.

- Then each moment is a gift.

If the date was a delight. Have another. Trust that each precious moment is building a scrap book of wonderful memories.

IF YOU ARE PARTNERED. . . set a time aside for a Tantric Date.

- Create a beautiful environment

- Slow down

- Relax and breathe from the belly

- Release expectations

- See the soul (the precious being) in one another’s eyes

- Touch slowly and with savoring

- Clear the mind, open the heart, stay present

This TANTRA DATING is a leap of faith. We trust that our needs will be fulfilled when we open our hearts with grace, discernment, kindness, compassion, and boundaries. It is magic.

We treat one another with kindness and joy and SURPRISE that treat us that way back. Or we let them go with a prayer of blessing. Sometimes the best answer is no.

If you are frustrated with your love life - - -try it. You’ll be pleasantly surprised.

You can even look for Tantra Workshops to find a Tantra Practice Partner (that’s how Patricia and Michael met. Listen to their interview.) Or you can take your partner to a Tantra Workshop for couples as your date.

Enjoy the love,
Francesca

We are all drawn to vitality and confidence.

We are all drawn to energy and enthusiasm.

We are all drawn to someone who unconditionally thinks we are wonderful.

To be that high energy person who radiates good will, we first tune into energy.

Energy is everywhere. Everything is imbued with spirit. When we deepen our breath, quiet our mind, and sense we feel it.

Energy is literally the life force, the electrical/chemical imprint of something (or even each thought).

Notice how some places, homes, trees, wells, art objects or people just arouse a feeling of happiness or well being in you. That is you sensing a welcoming or nourishing spirit.

Notice how some people, places, and things inspire feelings of dis-ease, or depletion in you. That is you sensing a spirit that is wounded, or negative.

If you are emotionally close to a friend or partner, ask their permission, then move your hand up and down their spinal column (about 3 to 5 inches away from it). Notice sensations of hot or cold in your hand or images or sounds you feel/hear as you do this.

We all have a muscle of INtuition inside us. We can all strengthen this muscle. When we strengthen it, we become more empathic, insightful, connected, and better lovers.

Have you felt energy?

How do you nourish it?

How do you stop yourself from becoming depleted?

Share!

Lovingly,
Francesca