Sacred Sex On Playboy Radio
HI dear hearts,
I just got off the phone being interviewed by Ginger and Christy of Playboy Radio www.PlayboyRadio.com. They are two adorable adult film stars with a passion for sexual knowledge and experience.
Just a few key points we reviewed. Tantric sex:
- Can be raw and primal
- Surfs the erotic, heart, mind, spirit connection between two people and the universe
- Offers multiple orgasms to both men and women
- Allows us to slow down, relax, release anxiety, and performance pressure
- Encourages expressing what we desire, fantasize, long for, and want more of
- Is enhanced by belly breathing, and looking kindly into one another’s eyes
- Invites creativity, experimentation, open mindedness while tenderly holding the needs of one’s partner
- Looks for the win/win erotic experience
- Releases attachment to performance, “doing”, goal, while embracing the senses, full body pleasure, expanded erotic states, and mind blowing - heart open connection
- Is benefited by practice, play, workshops, study, and training
- Invites “Taking the Lead” by being confident, authentically and courageously present to your heart, and creative with a sense of strength. We all enjoy confidence, vitality, heart connection with a smidge of the primal passion.
- Allows for better and better sexual intimate connection throughout our lifetime
SOME NOTES ABOUT WOMEN:
- Only 10 - 30% of women have orgasms through vaginal intercourse alone. It is no one’s fault if this is the case. Many women have a clitoris that is placed far enough from her vaginal opening that it is not stimulated during intercourse. (Your hand, her hand, or a vibrator during intercourse can make a world of difference.)
- Most women do not know where their g-spot is nor what a g-spot ejaculation feels like. This can be a great opportunity for tender, slow, playful experimentation. Many women will feel tenderness, or even sadness the first time their g-spot is stimulated. This is because the body holds trauma and many women have stored it there.
- 30 - 40% of women have been molested or sexually abused by the time they are 18. It is additive to know this and to be gentle, and tender while being confident, and trustworthy.
- Most women think there is something flawed about their appearance. Thinking this distracts them from fully enjoying the sexual experience. Praise your beloved in specific ways, regularly. She is not fishing for compliments. She is trying to fill the broken sense of her self beauty which has been punctured by fashion magazines.
- Most women are taught that to be bold and take charge in bed is to be labeled a slut, or to be shamed. If you want your beloved to “take you”, let her know that you adore her and would love to be played like an instrument by her touch. Encourage her to let her creative primal priestess of love out to play.
Love and blessings on your Erotic Journey. Send me your questions!
Francesca
Lori Carter said,
September 2, 2007 @ 7:17 am
Hi Francesca, A man in my life sent me your link and I am quite intrigued will continue reading your info. Curious about the hormone? supplements?
Perhaps he and I will see you togeather if you do that when I come to San Francisco to visit him in Oct. My question: I have been seeing this man for a year, long distance I think we have averaged monthly visits I am 54 he is 59. I exersise, do yoga eat right etc. I learned how to make myself happy before getting involved. Feel a strong spiritual connection with this man and we have both undoubtably grown this year and continue to. I have noticed that I have felt increasingly bad about my appearance in being with him. I get compliments regularly and know I am attractive but he is always telling me what I can do to look younger, he has a intense need for validation from young women, the emotional and spiritual growth has been sufficient that I have continued to show up. This issue affects my comfort and feeling safe sexually with him. He talks with me and is suggestive sexually with me all the time on the phone but then when we are togeather, we will start making love then he seems disconnected almost immediately and will say something negative about me, does not look at me and does not seem to want to touch and explore my body, I almost wonder at times if he even feels my touch, this has been very confusing. I try to talk with him about these things but that is equally confusing he says all the right things, spends and enourmous amount of time, I think connecting on the internet with women, but face to face, body to body contact is such a different story I end up feeling extremely sad and blamed for not being young enough,juicy enough and I used to feel so great…I do not know if he expects me to supply the feelings he is missing in himself or what. Prior to this I was married 2xs 10yrs and 18 yrs. Sex was technically good but there was no emotional intimacy and I wanted to hold out for what I truly wanted this time. Anyway if you see couples as I said perhaps I will get to meet you, in the meantime suggestions? Thank you for your time. Be Well, Lori Carter
Francesca said,
September 2, 2007 @ 11:07 am
Hi Lori,
Thank you so much for writing to me. My personal email is sacreddancer@mindpring.com
In my experience, everyone (male or female)in our culture has been wounded by negative or conflicting messages about:
- Aging
- The body
- Emotions
- Sexuality
- The genitals
Male or female, we carry splits in our psyche because of these negative or conflicting messages.
By splits I mean that consciously we make think we are healthy, “together,” successful, spiritual, enlightened, and/or healed.
But unconsciously, we carry hidden wounds, and negative beliefs that keep us disconnected from feelings, intimacy, and passion.
It is extremely positive that your beloved sent you to a site on Sacred Sexuality. This speaks to his longing for deeper intimacy and more expansive sexuality.
However, he is a product of our culture (as are you). As such, he has received negative programming:
- Aging is bad and should be avoided
- People are only worthwhile (male or female) if they are young
- To be a real man, a guy must always be horny and have orgasms.
- A real man, a real stud, is with women who rate a 10 on the airbrushed model scale.
- Emotions are dangerous.
I encourage you to have compassion for yourself and your beloved.
Each relationship is an opportunity to grow and to heal to the next level whether or not it lasts a lifetime.
I would be honored to be of service when you come to San Francisco.
It takes practice, and time to shift these cultural messages and to deepen the courage to be ever more present and vulnerable.
I recommend the DVD:
“Ancient Secrets of Sexual Ecstasy”
Warmth and blessings,
Francesca