Hi dear hearts,

Several years ago I noticed that my love life was OUT OF CONTROL!

I longed for deep, meaningful, shatteringly ecstatic, erotically fulfilling Sacred Relationship. Instead, what I got was a string of seeming bad luck: Crash and burns. Intensely passionate and hot starts. Yet irritating, emotionally depressing, wind downs & break ups. It always felt let down. It felt like my lovers were not who I thought they were.

I got FED UP- - - luckily with me. I knew that I was the common thread in all my relationship tales of woe. I became determined to find out how to become a true Priestess of Love.

MAGICIAN OF LOVE:
I knew that one definition of magic is “The Art of changing CONSCIOUSNESS at will.” (Crowley) I knew that science had developed biofeedback techniques and visualization techniques to lower heart I rate, and improve athletic ability.

I extrapolated that if the mind could be trained and taught in these ways, it should also be possible to educate and train the muscles of my mind/body to:

- Choose who to love (fall in love with, be attracted to)
- How much to love
- When to love
- How much to be aroused
- How to lower arousal/atraction
- How to sustain arousal/attraction

I read, researched, experimented and trained in meditation, visualization, psychology, shamanism, sacred sexuality, taoist sexuality, Buddhist Tantra, behavior modification, addiction recovery, American Tantra, Hindu Tantra, and personal growth techniques.

THE MAIN TECHNIQUE was that I learned to Follow The Model of New Love - - - BY CHOICE instead of pheromonal instigation.

CHOOSING LOVE:
I was able to slow down my reactivity. Take the time to check in with ALL my chaka’s for feedback on this person, and listen to warning signals when appropriate. I was also able to choose who to love and keep the passion alive over time. (Something I had rarely been able to do.)

I was also able to walk away from “train wrecks” - - -someone who primally aroused me, but who was clearly dishonest, emotionally unstable, and/or a truly bad match in some core way.

FOLLOW THE MODEL:
By “Follow the Model” I mean, distinguish the behaviors/actions and thoughts that you might normally have while “falling” in love. For instance, obsessing about the way my lover looks in candle light, the way they smell after lovemaking, or how amazing it feels to touch/be touched by them.

Then CHOOSE to create those thoughts and images. (Simple but not easy. Takes practice.)

Science has proven that the body can’t tell the difference between a vividly imagined visualization or dream and the “real” thing. Before long, you will be training your body/mind to feel turned on and aroused around who ever you consciously choose. And you will be able to turn down or off the instinctual “pounce” reflex if your warning signals go off.

Today, I no longer need to be “at the effect of” my reptilian brain. I can dip into it at will but no longer need to be unconsciously driven.
Using this model, I was even able to shift my sensate perception of someone’s smell from one of dislike to appreciation.

THE SOUL’s WAKE UP CALL:
Even with my new skills in consciousness, I still had huge waves of attraction or repulsion pop up around people and I didn’t know what to do. What DID IT MEAN?

My teacher, Priestess Mirae told me that there are 7 billion people on the planet, most of whom we will never meet. Each person we spend any time with has been sent to by the Divine for the purpose of our soul’s growth.

So now when I feel a strong “charge” around someone, I honor that my soul is saying “Hey, Francesca. Wake up. Look over there. There is something to share with that person’s soul.”

Just because I am attracted or repulsed by someone does not mean that we are meant to have sex, nor destined to be enemies. In the case of one of my best friends, I started out noticing her because I didn’t like her. Sartre says “the greatest insult is indifference.” If I notice you, there is something to learn with you.

Thank you for inspiring this and reading this. You are part of my Soul Community of Love.