There is SOMETHING SO INTIMATE about being able to safely share our deepest darkest feelings and secrets with someone.

THIS TAKES COURAGE because we are raised in a culture that teaches as that feelings are dangerous, needs are toxic/trivial, and secrets should be kept.

When we suppress our feelings, detach from our needs, and keep secrets about our own woundings and experiences, we CUT OFF OUR LIFE FORCE. We shut down our Eros. We lose our passion. ANd more importantly we lose the ability to listen to our soul.

The 12 step program of recovery (from addictive behaviors like overspending, complusive sexuality or infatuation, drugs, alchohol, and over-eating, bulimia, anorexia) teaches us that WE ARE ONLY AS SICK AS OUR SECRETS. (And yes, I have experience as an addict in recovery from Sex & Love Addiction and from Compulsive Over Eating.)

Mark & Patricia in “The Tantra of Radical Intimacy” refreshingly share their bold journey to become lovers and mates. It was the ability to speak the truth which drew them to one another and got them in bed practicing Tantra from the get go. You can find out more about them at http://www.tantrapm.com/

I used to practice lying, withholding, slanting, shading, and coloring the truth that I forgot what my own truth was. I no longer knew what I liked or desired. I LOST MY ME INSIDE.

Practices which helped bring it back include: Journaling, finding Safe Friends, going to 12 Step Programs, attending Workshops, and getting Therapy. Little by little I learned to take the risks to reveal my past, my feelings, my wants and my boundaries. . . to me. . . and to you.

WHEN I REVEAL MYSELF TO YOU, I AM TELLING MYSELF THAT I AM LOVEABLE JUST THE WAY I AM.

This courage and compassion are two of the foundations of Sacred Loving that I practice every day. It has brought so much ease into my relationship with my betrothed. I even tell him every time I am attracted to another man. I have compassion for him as well.

WE CHOSE TO EMBODY TO EXPERIENCE THE BODY with all its feelings, needs, wants, limits and boundaries. It is a sacred and exciting journey that arouses great passion.

Communicating authentically is RIGHT ACTION (as we would say in Buddhist Tantra). It als takes SKILLFUL MEANS. I recommend (and use) Non-Violent Communication www.cnvc.org

May all your relations be blessed.