THE BAD NEWS: 38% of young women are abused before the age of 18. 16% of young men. Every 2 minutes there is an adult woman raped in this country.

THE GOOD NEWS: SACRED SEXUALITY & TANTRA CAN BRING HEALING AND HARMONY INTO OUR SEX LIVES.

When I was a young woman, one of my family members asked me to become their lover. Although, I said no, profound trust was broken in love, myself, and life itself. For many years, I blamed men, the culture,  and even God.

It was a journey of many steps to find the keys to healing, wholeness, holiness and passion. KEYS OF HEALING INCLUDE:

- Compassion for myself

- Compassion with discerning boundaries toward others

- Reconnecting with The Divine in myself and the power to manifest my dreams.

- Reclaiming all the lost pieces of my own soul

- Deepening into Sacred Sexuality

In a future episode, I will be interviewing Stephen Braveman MFT who specializes in supporting the recovery journey. At the end of April Stephen & I will be teaching a workshop on this in Northern California.

If you have questions in this area, please do let me know. If you can join us, I would be honored. You can find out more at http://www.bravemantherapy.com/

There is SOMETHING SO INTIMATE about being able to safely share our deepest darkest feelings and secrets with someone.

THIS TAKES COURAGE because we are raised in a culture that teaches as that feelings are dangerous, needs are toxic/trivial, and secrets should be kept.

When we suppress our feelings, detach from our needs, and keep secrets about our own woundings and experiences, we CUT OFF OUR LIFE FORCE. We shut down our Eros. We lose our passion. ANd more importantly we lose the ability to listen to our soul.

The 12 step program of recovery (from addictive behaviors like overspending, complusive sexuality or infatuation, drugs, alchohol, and over-eating, bulimia, anorexia) teaches us that WE ARE ONLY AS SICK AS OUR SECRETS. (And yes, I have experience as an addict in recovery from Sex & Love Addiction and from Compulsive Over Eating.)

Mark & Patricia in “The Tantra of Radical Intimacy” refreshingly share their bold journey to become lovers and mates. It was the ability to speak the truth which drew them to one another and got them in bed practicing Tantra from the get go. You can find out more about them at http://www.tantrapm.com/

I used to practice lying, withholding, slanting, shading, and coloring the truth that I forgot what my own truth was. I no longer knew what I liked or desired. I LOST MY ME INSIDE.

Practices which helped bring it back include: Journaling, finding Safe Friends, going to 12 Step Programs, attending Workshops, and getting Therapy. Little by little I learned to take the risks to reveal my past, my feelings, my wants and my boundaries. . . to me. . . and to you.

WHEN I REVEAL MYSELF TO YOU, I AM TELLING MYSELF THAT I AM LOVEABLE JUST THE WAY I AM.

This courage and compassion are two of the foundations of Sacred Loving that I practice every day. It has brought so much ease into my relationship with my betrothed. I even tell him every time I am attracted to another man. I have compassion for him as well.

WE CHOSE TO EMBODY TO EXPERIENCE THE BODY with all its feelings, needs, wants, limits and boundaries. It is a sacred and exciting journey that arouses great passion.

Communicating authentically is RIGHT ACTION (as we would say in Buddhist Tantra). It als takes SKILLFUL MEANS. I recommend (and use) Non-Violent Communication www.cnvc.org

May all your relations be blessed.

When I ask my students, friends, and coachees WHAT MAKES SEX SACRED?

They fall into 2 camps:

1) ALL SEX IS SACRED!

Sex is so good. So yummy. So normal. So entwined with life itself that it must be sacred.

2) SEX BECOMES SACRED WITH INTENTION.

Sex is an energy of arousal. Neither good nor bad. It becomes sacred when we bring our intention, awareness, heart, soul, and consciousness to it.

What makes sex sacred for you?

SACRED SEX IS FOUND IN ALL RELIGIOUS PATHS if you know what to look for.

It is in the “Song of Songs” in the Old Testament/Torah. It is in the ancient Temples of Love in the Middle East and throughout Europe. It is interwoven in the poetry of Rumi and the Christian Mystics of the 12th century. (Shameless Plug: You can find out more about Sacred Sex in my chapter “With My Body I Thee Worship” in the book “The Marriage of Sex & Spirit.”)
I believe that SACRED SEX IS OUR BIRTHRIGHT. Have you ever had an experience of Sacred Sex?

WHAT IS TANTRA?

Tantra means “the weave” in sanskrit. The roots of the Tantric Practice go back 1,000’s of years. Some say over 5,000 years in India and 2000 in Tibet. Tantra in the far east is a spiritual path whose goal is the Unconditional and Loving Acceptance of The All. It embraces the embodied soul’s path.
WHO IS THE HEAD OF THE BUDDHIST TANTRIC PATH?

The Dalai Lama.

I recommend googling around under “Ancient Tantra” or “History of Tantra” to find it’s roots. Here’s one http://www.haryana-online.com/Culture/tantra.htm
In an upcoming blog I’ll discuss AMERICAN TANTRA, which is a whole other beast entirely.

WHAT IS KAMA SUTRA?

Kama means love in Sanskrit. Sutra means manual. Therefore “Kama Sutra” means “Love Manual.” It relates information, suggestions, and rules for sensuous and sensual pleasure, love, and marriage in accordance with Hindu traditions.

It can be a bit archaic. My favorite book on the subject is by Nik Douglas and Penny Slinger “Sexual Secrets.” http://www.tantraworks.com/

I’ve learned through reading. I’ve been inspired my watching Sacred Sexuality & Tantra video’s. Most of all, I’ve followed the sweet, soft, callings of my soul and been amazed.

I look forward to sharing more of the mysteries of Spiritual Sex with you.

ASK ME QUESTIONS. . . Ask yourself questions. . . ask the Universe questions. . .answers shall be forthcoming. Are you ready to be answered?

WHAT DO LOOSE LIPS AND ROCKIN HIPS HAVE IN COMMON?
When you open your mouth slightly and relax your jaw, it also frees up your pelvis. Give it a try. Walk a few steps with your jaw clenched. Now, walk a few with a nice loose swinging jaw and lips. Feel the difference?

It works just as well in bed!

THE VITALITY OF SEXUAL ENERGY:

My eternally youthful interviewee, LORI STAR, shares these tips and much more in her courses on Tantra and Sexual Energetics tm and her interview with me called “The Heart & Breath of Tantra. Lori is amazing, vital, and so sexy. It’s one of the common attributes you’ll notice about sex therapists, tantra educators, and sexologists. They just glow with their appreciation and experience of the Erotic Life Force within.

It was from Lori that I learned that sex is an energy that can be studied, and used to contribute to health, well being and (of course) a great sex life. I’ve been studying with Lori for over 10 years and consider her to be one of my primary mentors.

LOSE THE PILLOW:

Another fun and easy tip to improve the flow of energy in bed is to PUSH ASIDE THE PILLOW. This allows for more pelvic rocking, neck release, body undulation and (yes, yes) full body orgasm. (Be prepared for some wild, delicious rocking and rolling and more sounds. For divine sex, loosin up and let it out.)

You can find out more about Lori in her chapter in “The Marriage of Sex & Spirit” and at her institute www.CelebrationsOfLove.com

Here’s to your love and good health!

Have you ever noticed that there are “many worlds” within our “one world”?

Some examples:

The world of single people under 30 - “The 20 Something Planet”. The world of new parents - “The Baby Planet.”  The world of new car owners - “The New Car Planet.”

We enter new worlds when our perspectives are profoundly shifted.

For example:FROM NO SEX to THE OPPOSITE SEX
One day you were interested in toys and cartoons. Then puberty hit. The whole world changed. Suddenly you noticed the OPPOSITE SEX. Commercials, movies, songs and books had new levels of meaning. You had entered the Sex Planet.

Sacred sex is like that. It has its own planet experience.
One day, with REGULAR SEX, it is about whether you can get some or not. It’s about whether you should wait to have it or not. It’s about whether you’re a good enough lover or not. Then, one day, you have an ecstatic, expansive, divine experience of SACRED SEX. Suddenly terms like sex magic, sexual healing, and “becoming one with the universe” through sexuality, have meaning. You have entered the SACRED SEX PLANET.

When you embark into a new planet, you open up. You hear new things. See new views. You notice life on another level.

This show “SEX: Tantra & Kama Sutra” is one portal into the Sacred Sex Planet. A great way to use this show is to google the teachers, read their books, take some courses and above all experiment. Trust your soul, your spirit and your intution. Sacred Sex is your birthright. If you’re reading this, you have the longing for it. If you have the longing, your longing itself will be your guide and your inspiration.

Send me your questions, comments and experiences. Welcome to the Planet Sacred Sex. Welcome home!