Holding Fast to Faith
“A man [or woman] can doubt, can nurse great misgivings, and yet uphold his vow, though his heart is no longer in it. This, I believe, is the spirit’s highest consummation - holding fast to faith by dint of will alone when the fire of certainty has grown cold…When the fire dies…the real test of a soul’s worth begins” -Stephen R. Lawhead, “Pendragon”
This passage was written about ancient warriors and their vow to militarily support their High King, but it speaks to me of relationships. There are times, in many long-term relationships, when it feels to one person as if “the fire of certainty has grown cold.” Perhaps, the fire has died. And one finds oneself questioning the wisdom of keeping the relationship vow, though one’s heart is no longer in it. Is it better to stay or go? Is a vow I made a long time ago reason enough to stay?
I don’t want to suggest that there is one right or wrong answer to these questions - that one should honor their vows, or that all vows are renegotiable. Rather, I find myself, in whatever maturity I’ve developed over the 5 and a half decades I’ve been here in this life, newly experiencing the power and beauty of holding to the vow and trusting that fire is not dead, merely banked, awaiting and trusting that something will fan the embers back into flame.
Pauline said,
February 26, 2009 @ 8:02 pm
Interesting take on faith, which certainly isn’t my strong suit. I’m much more action oriented, but this post has given me something to think about. Interesting that I immediately think of sexuality in a long-term relationship. I strongly believe that the strength of a person’s soul is much more evident when times are tough than when they are easy. Love you!
Griselda said,
February 27, 2009 @ 12:07 am
I hear you…it is now easy, when we find ourselves in those “in-between spaces” where passions go dormant, where the challenge is to remain faithful… to ourselves.
It is a matter of trusting that love is like a rose bush…we keep on watering and nurturing it even when it has no blooms.
If the question has to do with commitment, or vows, I say we win more by waiting than rushing into another passion because it never lasts…no matter how strong, we are left holding the torch, flame gone when it has commsumed itself, or worse, empty handed.
I remember that passage from the Song of Songs: “Many waters cannot quench love, neither can floods drown it”