Yin and yang. The Chinese principle of dualism. Yin is soft, yang is hard. Yin is tranquil, yang is restless. Yin is slow, yang is rapid. Yin is cold, yang is hot. Yin is gentle, yang is rough. Sometimes, I hear people assert that yin is feminine, yang is masculine.

I was talking Satyen Raja on my podcast and he said “in any type of relationship there’s a masculine energy, one person has more of a masculine energy at their deepest core and there’s another partner who has more of a feminine essence at their deepest core.” He went on to talk about how this feeling of “fitting together” can fool us into believing we’re in love. It’s a great interview. But it got me thinking about this idea of duality.

I once heard a comedian say that there are two kinds of people in the world - those who think there are two kinds of people and those who don’t. I don’t. I see the world in infinite variety. I see masculinity in the way I care for my children and femininity in the ferocity of my sexuality. I see the hard in the soft and the light in the darkness, and all the shades of gray in between.

I believe great relationships are all about the gray areas. We are neither one thing nor the other, we dance and flow back and forth, sometimes leading, sometimes following, sometimes on top, sometimes on bottom, always side-by-side, intertwined.

The funny thing about the Chinese philosophy of yin and yang is that it also includes finding the yin in yang and the yang in yin. And then finding the yin in the yang that’s in the yin…well, you get the idea.

By the way, there are actually three kinds of people - those who understand arithmetic and those who don’t.

Surfing the net I bump into lots of interesting tidbits related to Sex, Love and Intimacy. Here are a few of the most recent.

Did you know that Melbourne University’s (Australia) Andrew Pask and Roger Short have developed an estrogen cream that - when applied to a man’s foreskin - will boost the body’s natural defenses against HIV? It’s being touted as a “Living Condom.” As far as I can tell, it is of no use preventing pregnancy, protecting a female partner, or protecting against the other 25 or so STI’s known to mankind. And there’s no word on help for those of us who no longer have a foreskin. Let’s hope that small steps continue to lead to bigger breakthroughs.

Meanwhile, according to an article in the NY Times - The Weird Sisters - scientists are fascinated by an 85 million year old species, bdelloid rotifers, that defy what we think we know about evolution. They are asexual yet they appear to evolve in ways that can not be explained by occasional genetic mutation. Apparently, living without sex is no big deal, in terms of species. It’s surviving 85 million years that has everyone puzzled. Speaking personally, I really hope this asexuality doesn’t catch on. I’ve tried in two marriages and I can tell you it’s not for me.

There’s a great article by Naomi Wolfe in New York Magazine re-evaluating the relationship between easy access to pornography leading to men objectifying real women in the way they objectified porn stars, and treat them accordingly. The belief was that rape and other kinds of sexual mayhem would surely follow. Not true, according Ms. Wolfe’s research. Turns out, porn seems to deaden men’s libido as regards real, living, flesh-and-blood women.

Finally, a tip-of-the-hat to Dr. Marty Klein, sex therapist, public policy analyst and author of “America’s War on Sex“. Dr. K’s blog - Sexual Intelligence - has a terrific open letter to anti-gay marriage activists, debunking their lies and fear-mongering with solid information and facts. Check it out.