Most people are born “knowing” they are either male or female…and many are born “knowing” the gender of their body doesn’t match the gender they “know” they are. If you are in the latter group, the transsexual and/or intersexed (perhaps as many as 3 million Americans), one of the first lessons you must learn is that the first group - those whose personality, genitals and outlook all align as male or female - seem to be in charge and, for all intents and purposes, deny your existence.

If you are reading the above and wondering the ways you deny the existence of people whose gender does not neatly fit into our categories of male and female consider these examples that most people never even think about:

-There are Men’s and Women’s categories in the Olympics, what if I’m neither or both?

-I’m a woman trapped in a man’s body, can I enroll in a Women’s College?

-At a sports arena, when I need to pee, which room is meant for me?

-Which clothing department in Macy’s is meant for me?

I saw a terrific article about the challenges for transgendered students at Women’s Colleges (and the challenges for the College Administrators). And I just interviewed Jamison Green, a fascinating and articulate advocate, author and activist in the field of transgender policy, theory and education.

I believe that in the not so distant future people will look back at our attitudes about gender at the end of the Twentieth Century and see them very much as we now look back to Nineteenth Century attitudes about race.

We once believed, and many scientists found “evidence” to support the beliefs that the color of people’s skin meant something about their intelligence, abilities, their very humanity. The typical (white) 19th Century writer, intellectual, civic leader accepted common wisdom that wasn’t wisdom at all, just bias. Our laws, mores, customs and attitudes were exclusionary and mean-spirited. We were so very wrong.

Today, too many of us believe that there are two genders - male and female - and that people who believe they are otherwise are confused, sick or some kind of freak of nature. I believe we will come to see that what we accept as common wisdom isn’t wisdom at all, just bias. We will see that our laws, mores, customs and attitudes are exclusionary and mean-spirited, perhaps unintentionally, but mean-spirited nonetheless.

So many of us are so very wrong.