Elements of an Apology
After talking to Barbara Musser about mothers, daughters & sex, I re-read Queen Bees and Wannabes: Helping Your Daughter Survive Cliques, Gossip, Boyfriends, and Other Realities of Adolescence by Rosalind Wiseman and I found this gem. Here are Ms. Wiseman’s elements of an apology:
1. Apologizer must have a genuine understanding of the “crime.”
2. Talk about the apologizer’s actions only.
3. No “last licks” or burying another insult within the apology.
4. Given without qualification (“I wouldn’t have done it if you had just…”)
5. Apologizer and apology must be genuine.
6. Apology’s are given without any expectation of a return apology.
7. Apology’s are given with the understanding they may invoke further recriminations.
