Last month I had a difficult time. I was feeling overworked (I led 4 workshops in 4 weeks in 3 different locations). I was having the experience of feeling disappointed and let down by my co-workers, my sweetie, and even the volunteers helping me each weekend. It was clear to me that everyone’s standards were slipping, their attention to detail lapsing, their keeping of agreements getting spotty. I was one unhappy dude.

Towards the end of the month some of my friends, family, coworkers and volunteers were starting to give me feedback that they felt hurt by my attitude. I tried to listen to them but in my head I could hear the blaming them for their unhappiness with me. A dear friend of mine asked me to notice my part in what was happening around me. So I listened to the quiet voice coming up from my heart telling me “Everyone does their best and mostly what everyone wants is your appreciation for their effort…just like you.”

The habit of mind that has me look for what is wrong is alive and well inside me. Under the right circumstances I’ll revert to criticizing myself and others without being fully aware that I’m now in territory that leads to upset, discontent and sadness.

All around me are miracles. Everyone I interact with is an angel. In the Webster’s dictionary angel literally means messenger, so I think we’re all messengers of love, if only I will look for evidence of that. When I direct my attention to the things I’m grateful for, there’s not much time or bandwidth to notice anything else.

As people feel the warmth of my appreciation they move toward me with their service, their skills and their joy. When I seek evidence of how great everyone is, mostly I find evidence of how great everyone truly is.

As I send the gratitude outward I feel good. It is healing to live in appreciation. It is soothing to the heart. In the end, it is my own attitude of gratitude that opens my heart and opens the hearts around me.