Recently I read a study that claimed that 25% of Americans have no one to confide in. Furthermore, 80% of those surveyed only confide their deepest thoughts to family members. In other words, we are are becoming a nation of isolated people moving in close proximity but not really connecting to the people all around us.

I’m not really surprised. We are behaving towards each other exactly as we behave driving on our highways and freeways. You know, one person per vehicle, whizzing by each other at 70 miles-per-hour, rarely making eye-contact, listening to our ipods or talking on the cell phone, alone and separate but only inches away from other alone and separate people behaving exactly the same.

One thing I’ve learned in life is that the things you practice are the things you get good at. When we practice isolation we get good at isolating. If you want to feel connected you must practice connecting.

Sometimes clients tell me “I want to connect but there isn’t anyone to connect with.” Huh? It seems to me that there are almost 7 billion people on this planet, and apparently most of them are as lonely as you. You have neighbors, check-out clerks at the supermarket, the people who pick up your trash or read your electric meter, the mail carrier, and hundreds of others ready to be approached.

All it takes is the same “playground skills” we began to learn as children. Instead of asking “can I play with you?” just say hello, look into the person’s eyes, and be genuinely curious about that person you are talking to. Assume that the person you are talking to wants to get to know you and wants you to get to know them. It’s fine to start by talking about the weather, but let that “door-opener” lead you to genuinely sharing something a tad more personal - how you are feeling, perhaps?

Practice emotionally reaching out to each fellow lonely human you meet. You will get skilled at what you practice.