Writing a New Story
When we were kids we used to say “Seeing is believing.” I think that’s often backwards. In fact, most of the time, “Believing is seeing.” When we believe something we search for evidence of it. And our search almost always yields results.If you believe you are fat (something I’ve struggled with for decades) then every time you look in the mirror you are likely to see how fat you are. If you believe you are unlovable then what you will notice is all the behaviors others do that are not loving to you.This is why it is so important to pay attention to the “stories” we repeatedly tell ourselves. Every day I tell myself “I am enough. I do enough. I have enough. I give enough.” I remind me to collect evidence of these affirmations. And, over time, I’ve “discovered” that they are all true.
It helps to remind yourself that, as Terry Cole-Whittaker wrote, what other people think about you is really none of your business. There will always be people who are not supportive of your growth. Often this is not malicious. Growth is uncomfortable, both for the “grower ” and for those close by. Well-meaning friends and relatives are often frightened by changes they don’t understand.
In Australia my friends talk about the “tallest poppy.” That’s the one that gets it’s head lopped off when the gardener is evening out the flower patch. Believing in your own “okay-ness” can sometimes feel like you are becoming the tallest poppy. It helps me to remember the words of Marianne Williamson:
