Surfing the net I stumbled on this terrific post for teens - Top 10 Ways to Make Love Without Sex. Hugging, love notes, hand-holding and seven more ideas, all supporting my belief that “sex” is so much more than genitals rubbing and being rubbed. I think SEX is an acronym for Sensual Energy eXchange, or Spiritual Energy eXchange.

Looking at this advice to teens it occurs to me that that there are at least 10 Ways for Adult Couples to Make Love (without the focusing on our genitalia).

1. Start and end every day by looking into each others’ eyes and saying a heartfelt “I love you.” No matter how difficult it may feel to say the words out loud. No matter how certain you are that your partner already knows. As any songwriter or poet will tell you, there is magic in those three words.

2. At least once every day tell your partner one thing you really appreciate or love about them. There’s an old adage “Familiarity breeds contempt.” Appreciations are the the antidote, the cure for much of the ills caused by familiarity.
3. Go out on a date. Remember dating? Agree to a day and time, hire a sitter, make reservations, get tickets, buy flowers. Take your partner out for a real date.
4. After the date (or as part of the date) find a secluded street (lovers lane), or perhaps your own driveway, and share an hour or two necking - kissing, smooching, petting, caressing.
5. Find a love poem that you think really would touch your sweetie’s heart. Find a quiet time to sit together (turn off the phones) and read it aloud to your partner.
6. Take a bath, hot tub and/or shower together. Perhaps find a local hot tub/massage day spa and share a few hours soaking and being pampered together.

7. Drive to the ocean (lake? river? mountain?). Take a long walk on the shore, holding hands. As you walk let the only conversation be telling each other everything you appreciate about your partner.

8. Find a private, cozy place where you won’t be interrupted or overheard. Sit facing each other. Light a candle and place it between you. While both of you look at the candle, one of you take 10 minutes to speak whatever is in your heart. At the end of the 10 minutes, the other of you take 10 minutes (use a kitchen timer, to be fair) to speak whatever is in your heart.

9. Find a private, cozy place where you won’t be interrupted or overheard. Put some soft music on in the background. Sit facing each other. With your partner’s permission, one of you, with all the tenderness in your heart, gently reach both your hands forward and lovingly caress your partner’s face (for about 2 or three minutes). Then switch.

10.Write a love letter to each other and mail it. Call each others’ voice mail and leave a love message.