My friend Stan Dale used to say “There’s either love or violence.” Can it really be that simple? The world seems a pretty violent place. Always has been, always will be. Is the antidote really as simple as “love”?

Let me make a little confession here. I think there are 2 kinds of people in the world: people who think there are 2 kinds of people and people who don’t. I’m definitely in the second category. All my training and life experience tells me that life happens in the gray areas, that life is not “this” or “that”, that polarities may be real but they are not true.

And yet, I can’t help but notice how the application of love, of loving words, loving attention, loving thoughts, and loving attitudes profoundly transform every situation. Time and time again in my personal growth coaching practice the work revolves around learning to see the love in every situation. I help people change the thoughts in their heads from non-stop self-criticism to non-stop self-love, almost like changing the channel on a radio.

And as I interview relationship experts on my podcast I hear each, in their own way, speak about the healing power of speaking loving thoughts. One of the first things I ask couples to do is to give their partner a minimum of one unconditionally loving appreciation every day. I ask each person to agree to this unilaterally - whether or not your partner does it, you do it. I encourage partners to appreciate the little things and the big, the mundane and the profound. Over time what you look for is what you find, what you focus on is what grows. Life fills with love.
This lesson is equally useful with your children, your co-workers, everyone you meet. As we look for love in everyone, in all situations, at all times, our lives become filled with love. The world you see will be a a world of love. As A Course In Miracles teaches “I can escape from the world I see by giving up my attack thoughts.”