This weeks show addresses a common concern; early ejaculation. Many men and women want to know how to prolong their lovemaking. One fun and simple way to prolong sex is to incorporate other parts of your body, such as your mouth, tongue, hands and fingers into your sexual repertoire.  In other words, pleasurable and satisfying sex does not always require intercourse. However, if your goal is to make intercourse last longer by not coming as quickly, you will need to learn to relax and pay attention to the pleasure your feeling during intercourse.  Now, I realize this might be counterintuitive to thinking about your grandmother or baseball to stop you from coming too soon, but tuning out doesn’t give you ejaculatory control; it just raises your anxiety and interferes with your sexual pleasure. The key in learning to last longer is to focus on the sensations and pleasures you’re feeling and to increase your awareness to learn when you are reaching “the point of no return” (when ejaculation becomes inevetable). A simple technique teaches you to recognize the feelings you experience right before ejaculatory inevitability. Start by practicing this exercise daily during masturbation.  While masturbating, be aware of your level of arousal and back up or stop when you feel yourself reaching the point of no return.  Do this a few times before letting yourself ejaculate. This does take lots of practice, so be patient.  When you feel you’ve mastered it (when you can last for 15 minutes), you can then practice it with a partner.  This exercise combined with kegel exercises will give you more ejaculatory control.  You may start to notice improvement in weeks, but it usually takes months, so, again, be patient.  Remember to relax, breathe, and enjoy other forms of sex play…and don’t forget your Kegels (see betty Dodson epidode page).  My interview with Ian Denchasy gives some other great suggestions.  Perhaps a custom made cockring is just what you need? Other resources I recommend to learn more about rapid or premature ejaculation are Coping with Premature Ejaculation by Michael E. Metz, Ph.D. & Barry W. McCarthy, Ph.D. and/or the DVD You Can Last Longer by Sinclair Institute. You might also want to seek the help of a certified sex therapist. I’d love to hear your comments, questions and success stories!
Warmly,

Dr Lori