In my first interview of 2010, I review the book When Things Fall Apart by Pema Chodron.  Together we dive deeply into topics that most of us would rather just not face: becoming intimate with fear and making friends with pain.  Fun stuff huh?  But, alas, the insight offered in this book is like drinking a glass of cool water after a day in the hot desert.
In my own search to find calmness and clarity during my painful breakup at the end of 2009, I found this book to be a life saver.  I want to share it with you.  This book is a must read for anyone who is going through a difficult time.  Whether it is a death, a break up, a job loss or the loss of anything that was important to you, Pema’s laser like ability to cut to the heart of our pain and offer us love as well as new perspectives on relating to fear and pain is quite refreshing.

Tune into the Just for Women Show and hear more!
Order it now and be on your way to greater strength, courage and self acceptance!

Just wanted to give you a reminder to check out the interview I did with best-selling author, Mike Robbins (http://bit.ly/15W7Bj) where we discuss the importance of being who YOU are, since of course, everyone else is taken!

Get your own copy of his book (http://bit.ly/ZUai0) today and make it a must read before the summer ends!

Namaste,

Alissa

Check out this hilarious You Video Tube I did with Relationship Expert Maryanne Comaroto about her new book HINDSIGHT: What You Need to Know Before You Drop Your Drawers.  We were recording two shows for Just for Women and I must say - recording video is A LOT of fun!

We had so much fun together (if you can’t tell) we decided to create a new internet TV show - The Inner View - where we will discuss important topics in men and women’s empowerment each week. So stay tuned to both shows and thank you for letting us serve you!
Someone please tell me how to embed video into this blog!

Thanks!

Alissa

PART TWO OF A TWO PART SERIES

Author and Relationship Expert Maryanne Comaroto is back to delve a little deeper into what we MUST ask men BEFORE we jump into the sack with them! She says, “We just don’t want to know; we would rather live in a fantasy and be lead on than deal with what is actually going on right in front of our eyes” - touche!

Maryanne details for us highly useful tools and information from her new book HINDSIGHT: What You Need to Know Before You Drop Your Drawers, such as the SHOMI method of taking a few quiet minutes everyday to really tap into what our bodies and spirits are trying to tell us.

Don’t miss this lively and all important interview with America’s Leading Relationship Expert who is willing to call BS on many of the unconscious and dysfunctional patterns that exist today in the modern world of dating, relationships and sex!  Here is a little teaser:

Maryanne Comaroto: But here is the thing that keeps happening; men keep coming and orbiting into your life, so the other thing I recommend and what this part of the program I think we’re going to talk a little bit more about is here I am going along with my little self-care practice, feeling good about myself, taking myself for walks, bubble baths, sending myself flowers, and all of a sudden I go out and there he is and that goes out the window and next thing I know my underwear are around my ankles, I’m doing, you know, the rumpy pumpy with some guy I just met because I’m sure he’s the one. Now this is not an unusual story. Why does that happen and why is that so dangerous? Well, you know, Alissa we could look at some of the statistics out there. Lets start in college. Date rape is on the rise. Being a single mother is on the rise. The divorce rate, lets keep moving along, is on the rise.

Alissa Kriteman: Not to mention domestic violence…

Maryanne Comaroto: That’s right. On the more dramatic end of the scale, death. Next year, 2009, between two and four thousand women are going to die as a result of domestic abuse, okay. These things are nothing for us to sneeze at. So on the very extreme left, lets call it, you need some skills and tools when you meet someone just for your very safety, okay. Chemistry is going to probably try to talk you into not using those tools and skills. You get close enough to somebody whose had some problems, gets an STD… I know gals who tell me all the time, “Oh my gosh, I have herpes. I can’t tell the guy.” Well how do you think you got it, you know?

 Tune in today! 

In my world, being in a long term committed relationship can sometimes be one of the most challenging adventures I have ever experienced.  Nowhere else have I ever felt so angry, vulnerable, misunderstood, seen, loved and cherished in all of my life.  It’s wild to agree to spend the rest of your life with someone and really COMMIT to making it work.  We live in a world where the divorce rate is still up in the 60 percentile with people walking away from 15-20 year marriages like it was nothing.  I don’t want to be a part of that statistic and the odds are not in my favor since I did not grow up in an environment where a strong, present father and doting, loving mother were the norm.

Turns out there are many ways to learn how to have a great marriage even if that was not your model growing up.  Welcome to Marriage Prep 101.
“What is unconscious has a tendency to repeat itself.”

“The past has a framing tendency.”
Oh yes it does ~ and where better to realize this than in relationship (I write with a laugh). At some point we all realize that the common denominator in all past relationships is US and we had better do something to look INSIDE if want a great life OUTSIDE.  What Drs. Michelle and Patrick Gannon so honestly and generously shared with us hopeful participants at Marriage Prep 101 was that every marriage is a unique blend of personalities, ego, wounds, brilliance and opportunity. By knowing ourselves better, we have a MUCH greater chance of staying in LOVE.
We learned that there are many TYPES of marriages, each having it’s wisdom and challenges, as well as the 7 Keys to a Thriving, Lifelong Marriage.  The bulk of the workshop was spent covering these important keys and opening dialog in areas that are MUCH easier to skip over like money, sex, kids and religion.  One of my favorite exercises was called “Clarifying Expectations” where we each separately answered a list of questions about every topic you can imagine that a couple would need to discuss and yet so easily avoid.  We walked away from that exercise with a game plan for finances that was NOT going to happen had we not really looked at it in this workshop - Thank You Michelle and Patrick!

We also got a chance to look at our Strengths, Challenges, Areas of Change and Goals as a couple.  Looking at what changes we need to make individually as well as together to resolve our relationship challenges gave us a roadmap we could have not created on our own.  One of our goals is “honor each others individual needs and desires while having a solid dedication to our relationship.”  That is a great reference point we can always look back on when we are met with new challenges.
By showing us the components of a what makes a great marriage, Rick and I can be much more prepared with the awareness and skills to create one.  I really enjoyed Marriage Prep 101 and highly recommend it to anyone thinking of getting married, planning a wedding or who are already married - it is never too late to learn how to be a better lover, great partner and overall conscious human being.  Makes me appreciate to NO END that a course like Marriage Prep 101 exists for us to enjoy - take advantage!

I am Very excited to participate in the Marriage Prep 101 course with my fiancee (how to make an accent ?) Rick here in San Francisco with Drs. Michelle and Patrick Gannon this weekend. Already since taking the RELATE “Compatibility Test” I have learned things about myself and my fiancee that I would have not known otherwise.  We have not yet stepped foot in the classroom, and we have gotten a ton of value by opening up and sharing wants, needs and desires previously hidden from our view.  I am now really looking forward to printing the report where we compare each others responses!

For me, the journey from being single to committed, co-habitating and preparing for marriage has been one of the most challenging and amazing adventures of my life.  It is really a delicate time for me.  All the things I thought about relationship, men, sex, love, commitment, who I am, etc. have all been challenged to the max.  All the examples of relationship I witnessed in the past were sorely lacking in any healthy, balanced way that I could take into my young and mature adult life to model or emulate.

So, like MANY men and women my age, I struggle to know what works when it comes to creating a lasting, loving partnership that is REAL and able to stay together through whatever life offers.  I have taken it upon myself to do the work, amass the research and push my edges of experience as I humbly but not surprisingly to find myself in my late thirties still longing to create a partnership that works.
With Rick as a Therapist/Coach/Facilitator and me as an Empowerment Coach and Host of Just for Women, we feel as though it our duty to share the wisdom that will help us all be more successful at intimacy, communication, conflict resolution, emotional sobriety, sexual expression - skills we never learned growing up. I am so thankful to live in a time where self growth, personal empowerment and emotional sobriety are welcomed and encouraged.  We are excited to delve deeper with Marriage Prep 101 - a great start toward creating a lifetime of love!

I will let you know how it goes.  And may your weekend be filled with new epiphanies on how to love bigger and deeper and wider than you have ever known, starting with yourself.
Namaste,

Alissa

Please  join me and America’s Leading Relationship Expert Maryanne Comaroto for an electrically informative FREE 90 minute Teleseminar where you will get access to the Best Relationship Guidance available today!  Here is the skinny:

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“Maryanne Comaroto Shares How To Find, Get and Keep a Great Relationship”

Three million listeners LOVE her advice, so will you!

Do you think a gal who against all odds manifested the love of her life, and has 3 million listeners around the world who tune into her show for expert advice, could teach you a thing or two about love and relationships? You bet Maryanne can!

Join us for a free telephone seminar Thursday, April 30th, at 1 pm or 5 pm with special guest Alissa Kriteman, author, empowerment coach, and host of the enormously successful  weekly internet radio show: “Just for Women: Dating, Relationships and Sex” on personallifemedia.com.  Check it out to hear why this show was recently ranked in the Top 5 “What’s HOT in Podcasts” in iTunes!

One of the many things Maryanne admires about Alissa is that even with her incredibly full schedule—which includes nurturing a relationship in which she’s recently become engaged—she has never lost sight of what it takes to attract and MAINTAIN a healthy, loving, sustainable relationship. Full of insight, coaching and dating tips, she will help you see what it takes to have a great, authentic relationship now!
Click here to register for Thursday’s call and choose either 1 pm or 5 pm PDT.
Some of this material may be brand new, some may be a deepening of what you intuitively know. No matter where you are on your path of intimate relationship, you’ll come away with self-love Rx’s and practical tools and skills that you can use right away.

From Maryanne you’ll discover her heroic journey to finding the love of her life: How she kept on her path, through five police reports, a broken marriage, a panic disorder and being a single mom

• What you can do when you feel like you’ll never find true love and all the good ones are taken
• Maryanne’s 14 questions that you need to ask every potential partner
• The mindset you need to attract a healthy fulfilling relationship
• How to find a relationship mentor
• Maryanne’s strategy for telling the rats from the princes
• How to create the intimacy you want to feel in a relationship, even if you’re the only one in it
• The #1 common denominator in all failed relationships

• What most people don’t get about doing the work VS the quick fix
• and more!

Register for this fantastic FREE Teleseminar with me and Maryanne Comaroto!

Cape Cod, Massachusetts - September 2009 - East Orleans Beach

I love this picture.  It reminds me to relax, drink in the vast abundance of nature and let go of thinking that I can really grasp onto anything.  So often we think we need to GO, GO, GO and DO, DO, DO that we forget WHO we are BEING while we are DOING these things we THINK are SO damn important.  What is important?

More and more, what is important to me ~ is ME.  I was not raised to think that my deepest desires and passions were valid. I was raised to think that going to college, getting a degree in Business and working for some company in a corner office until I retired was the best way to go. I believed it. But when I got to college I hated business classes. I loved dance classes, performing, speaking Spanish, being active, traveling and laughing my head off. I stayed in Business school - suffering - like MY mom did. Hmmm.
My mother gave and gave of herself to provide for us - at her own expense.  So when she blew a gasket from time to time, I always thought - wow, did she even really WANT to do all that she is doing for us?  I know my mother loves me and brothers and sisters; we love her and appreciate all that did to give us an experience of love and being taken care of. I know she worked her butt off her whole life to give us what we needed to feel like normal kids.  She also seemed to SUFFER a lot in her life.

As I develop a FANTASTIC product for women to help us decrease stress, anxiety, fear, depression, panic attacks, etc. I am starting to see where the DEEP roots of my own tension, suffering, fear and habitual projection onto other people found it’s origins.  I am starting to learn how to take care of my own mental health and stability in a world that normalizes high levels of stress, anxiety and fear and then offers toxic pharmaceutics for relief.  No thank you.  I have found some WAY better ways to honor my mind, body, spirit and emotions.  No more (ok, a lot less) anxiety, panic attacks and heart palpitations!  I have found some amazing techniques that provide for a much more enriching experience of life over the long term. And they work FAST, I like that.
I look forward to sharing this with you very soon.  If you are interested in getting on the HOT LIST for this life-changing product that has amazing Bonus material and a FREE eBook called “10 Ways to Shift Your Thoughts,” email me at alissa@personallifemedia.com.

I look forward to hearing from you.

Namaste.

I love when men want to share their insights with us on how to be a Modern Goddess. This is a very touchy subject for me and I maybe you too, so I take care to pick authors and experts whose hearts I can feel while they are delivering their content to us. I like Dr. Alex Benzer, with a BA from Harvard and a MD from UC San Diego, he has probably spent more time getting an education than he has spent doing anything else so I really wanted to hear what he has to us.

What I get is this: The whole world is changing rapidly. With the economy the way it is, now more than ever we need to practice mental clarity and stay focused on what we want versus what we don’t have or don’t want. This skill completely translates into intimate relationships.

Dr. Alex talks to us about his new book, The Tao of Dating for Women, The Smart Woman’s Guide to Embracing your Inner Goddess and Finding the Fulfillment you Deserve. We hear about “Bad Boys” and what we can expect from their behavior which might look like romance, spontaneity and love on the outside but could really be an indicator of serious trouble ahead.

We talk a lot about busting up fantasies about how life or our lovers should be. We discuss characteristics of the Modern Goddess and why men are aching for this type of woman in their lives. Of course it wouldn’t be a complete show if we didn’t talk about sex, so Dr. Alex tells us what men’s secret fears about sex are, as well as the importance of our own sexual know how in the bedroom. Tune in and turn on your awareness!