Hey Everyone!

Check out this hilarious You Video Tube I did with Relationship Expert Maryanne Comaroto about her new book HINDSIGHT: What You Need to Know Before You Drop Your Drawers.  We were recording two shows for Just for Women and I must say - recording video is A LOT of fun!

We had so much fun together (if you can’t tell) we decided to create a new internet TV show - The Inner View - where we will discuss important topics in men and women’s empowerment each week. So stay tuned to both shows and thank you for letting us serve you!
Someone please tell me how to embed video into this blog!

Thanks!

Alissa

PART TWO OF A TWO PART SERIES

Author and Relationship Expert Maryanne Comaroto is back to delve a little deeper into what we MUST ask men BEFORE we jump into the sack with them! She says, “We just don’t want to know; we would rather live in a fantasy and be lead on than deal with what is actually going on right in front of our eyes” - touche!

Maryanne details for us highly useful tools and information from her new book HINDSIGHT: What You Need to Know Before You Drop Your Drawers, such as the SHOMI method of taking a few quiet minutes everyday to really tap into what our bodies and spirits are trying to tell us.

Don’t miss this lively and all important interview with America’s Leading Relationship Expert who is willing to call BS on many of the unconscious and dysfunctional patterns that exist today in the modern world of dating, relationships and sex!  Here is a little teaser:

Maryanne Comaroto: But here is the thing that keeps happening; men keep coming and orbiting into your life, so the other thing I recommend and what this part of the program I think we’re going to talk a little bit more about is here I am going along with my little self-care practice, feeling good about myself, taking myself for walks, bubble baths, sending myself flowers, and all of a sudden I go out and there he is and that goes out the window and next thing I know my underwear are around my ankles, I’m doing, you know, the rumpy pumpy with some guy I just met because I’m sure he’s the one. Now this is not an unusual story. Why does that happen and why is that so dangerous? Well, you know, Alissa we could look at some of the statistics out there. Lets start in college. Date rape is on the rise. Being a single mother is on the rise. The divorce rate, lets keep moving along, is on the rise.

Alissa Kriteman: Not to mention domestic violence…

Maryanne Comaroto: That’s right. On the more dramatic end of the scale, death. Next year, 2009, between two and four thousand women are going to die as a result of domestic abuse, okay. These things are nothing for us to sneeze at. So on the very extreme left, lets call it, you need some skills and tools when you meet someone just for your very safety, okay. Chemistry is going to probably try to talk you into not using those tools and skills. You get close enough to somebody whose had some problems, gets an STD… I know gals who tell me all the time, “Oh my gosh, I have herpes. I can’t tell the guy.” Well how do you think you got it, you know?

 Tune in today! 

In my world, being in a long term committed relationship can sometimes be one of the most challenging adventures I have ever experienced.  Nowhere else have I ever felt so angry, vulnerable, misunderstood, seen, loved and cherished in all of my life.  It’s wild to agree to spend the rest of your life with someone and really COMMIT to making it work.  We live in a world where the divorce rate is still up in the 60 percentile with people walking away from 15-20 year marriages like it was nothing.  I don’t want to be a part of that statistic and the odds are not in my favor since I did not grow up in an environment where a strong, present father and doting, loving mother were the norm.

Turns out there are many ways to learn how to have a great marriage even if that was not your model growing up.  Welcome to Marriage Prep 101.
“What is unconscious has a tendency to repeat itself.”

“The past has a framing tendency.”
Oh yes it does ~ and where better to realize this than in relationship (I write with a laugh). At some point we all realize that the common denominator in all past relationships is US and we had better do something to look INSIDE if want a great life OUTSIDE.  What Drs. Michelle and Patrick Gannon so honestly and generously shared with us hopeful participants at Marriage Prep 101 was that every marriage is a unique blend of personalities, ego, wounds, brilliance and opportunity. By knowing ourselves better, we have a MUCH greater chance of staying in LOVE.
We learned that there are many TYPES of marriages, each having it’s wisdom and challenges, as well as the 7 Keys to a Thriving, Lifelong Marriage.  The bulk of the workshop was spent covering these important keys and opening dialog in areas that are MUCH easier to skip over like money, sex, kids and religion.  One of my favorite exercises was called “Clarifying Expectations” where we each separately answered a list of questions about every topic you can imagine that a couple would need to discuss and yet so easily avoid.  We walked away from that exercise with a game plan for finances that was NOT going to happen had we not really looked at it in this workshop - Thank You Michelle and Patrick!

We also got a chance to look at our Strengths, Challenges, Areas of Change and Goals as a couple.  Looking at what changes we need to make individually as well as together to resolve our relationship challenges gave us a roadmap we could have not created on our own.  One of our goals is “honor each others individual needs and desires while having a solid dedication to our relationship.”  That is a great reference point we can always look back on when we are met with new challenges.
By showing us the components of a what makes a great marriage, Rick and I can be much more prepared with the awareness and skills to create one.  I really enjoyed Marriage Prep 101 and highly recommend it to anyone thinking of getting married, planning a wedding or who are already married - it is never too late to learn how to be a better lover, great partner and overall conscious human being.  Makes me appreciate to NO END that a course like Marriage Prep 101 exists for us to enjoy - take advantage!

I am Very excited to participate in the Marriage Prep 101 course with my fiancee (how to make an accent ?) Rick here in San Francisco with Drs. Michelle and Patrick Gannon this weekend. Already since taking the RELATE “Compatibility Test” I have learned things about myself and my fiancee that I would have not known otherwise.  We have not yet stepped foot in the classroom, and we have gotten a ton of value by opening up and sharing wants, needs and desires previously hidden from our view.  I am now really looking forward to printing the report where we compare each others responses!

For me, the journey from being single to committed, co-habitating and preparing for marriage has been one of the most challenging and amazing adventures of my life.  It is really a delicate time for me.  All the things I thought about relationship, men, sex, love, commitment, who I am, etc. have all been challenged to the max.  All the examples of relationship I witnessed in the past were sorely lacking in any healthy, balanced way that I could take into my young and mature adult life to model or emulate.

So, like MANY men and women my age, I struggle to know what works when it comes to creating a lasting, loving partnership that is REAL and able to stay together through whatever life offers.  I have taken it upon myself to do the work, amass the research and push my edges of experience as I humbly but not surprisingly to find myself in my late thirties still longing to create a partnership that works.
With Rick as a Therapist/Coach/Facilitator and me as an Empowerment Coach and Host of Just for Women, we feel as though it our duty to share the wisdom that will help us all be more successful at intimacy, communication, conflict resolution, emotional sobriety, sexual expression - skills we never learned growing up. I am so thankful to live in a time where self growth, personal empowerment and emotional sobriety are welcomed and encouraged.  We are excited to delve deeper with Marriage Prep 101 - a great start toward creating a lifetime of love!

I will let you know how it goes.  And may your weekend be filled with new epiphanies on how to love bigger and deeper and wider than you have ever known, starting with yourself.
Namaste,

Alissa

I love when men want to share their insights with us on how to be a Modern Goddess. This is a very touchy subject for me and I maybe you too, so I take care to pick authors and experts whose hearts I can feel while they are delivering their content to us. I like Dr. Alex Benzer, with a BA from Harvard and a MD from UC San Diego, he has probably spent more time getting an education than he has spent doing anything else so I really wanted to hear what he has to us.

What I get is this: The whole world is changing rapidly. With the economy the way it is, now more than ever we need to practice mental clarity and stay focused on what we want versus what we don’t have or don’t want. This skill completely translates into intimate relationships.

Dr. Alex talks to us about his new book, The Tao of Dating for Women, The Smart Woman’s Guide to Embracing your Inner Goddess and Finding the Fulfillment you Deserve. We hear about “Bad Boys” and what we can expect from their behavior which might look like romance, spontaneity and love on the outside but could really be an indicator of serious trouble ahead.

We talk a lot about busting up fantasies about how life or our lovers should be. We discuss characteristics of the Modern Goddess and why men are aching for this type of woman in their lives. Of course it wouldn’t be a complete show if we didn’t talk about sex, so Dr. Alex tells us what men’s secret fears about sex are, as well as the importance of our own sexual know how in the bedroom. Tune in and turn on your awareness!

Their sweat activates the female brain….check out this article on MSNBC
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/28579292/

it makes sense….

if we are more turned on to our lovers sweat, (versus his normal sweat) we are going to be more inclined to be sexual.  I am sure that is why Tantric breathing practices for generating heat are so effective for getting us in the mood!

WHO KNEW?!

I am really excited to interview Leslie Rice this week who is the CEO as well as one of the lead seminar leaders for PAX Programs.  PAX Programs are the brain child of one of my favorite JFW female guests, Alison Armstrong. We have talked about two important topics thus far:
Does he want to Date you or Marry You? and Understanding Men
Leslie is going to give us an in depth interview about Men and Sex, one of the powerful courses PAX offers to women (only!).  Send me any questions you have and I will be sure to get them answered during our interview! Click the ICON to learn more about the illuminating courses that can be found with PAX Programs and Alison Armstrong, a woman who has dedicated her life to helping the sexes understand each other better!

Remember that amazing, dreamy music that got your whole body in the mood?  Well, she’s back, the incredible ENYA, that is and I am really pleased to announce that she has a new album out for the holidays “And Winter Came,” and it is the newest sponsor of Just for Wome: Dating, Relationships and Sex!
Next month it will be twenty years since Enya released her beguiling Warner debut album Watermark, during the two decades since she has sold a remarkable 70 million albums around the world, won numerous awards and become Ireland’s biggest selling solo artist.

One of the most successful female artists of all time, Enya returns with a winter-themed album for the holidays. Featuring two traditional Christmas songs and 10 originals that evoke the changing Winter landscape and the cheer that Christmas brings. Enya’s And Winter Came… is the perfect soundtrack for spending time with your loved ones this holiday season. Download Enya’s And Winter Came directly from iTunes and support me, Just for Women and our new sponsor while you savor this luscious soul-stirring music!

Hey there is great Indy film launching this week in the Bay Area.  It is called Good Dick and I am going to check it out with my like minded homeys this Friday night at the Opera Plaza Theater.
Produced by my friend’s friend’s sister, I am always happy to support Indy films!  It has received great reviews so I am bringing a whole bunch of my friends, who are also relationship coaches to check it out.  I will let you know what I think.  Check it out in a theater near YOU!

“Before working on GOOD DICK, I went through a metamorphosis from an inactive observer and opinionated commentator to an active, courageous participant in my own artistic journey.  I realized that everybody can sing in the shower, but it’s something else to sing in front of a crowd.  The definition of courage includes fear.  If there is no fear, you can’t be courageous.  So I decided that the process of going through fear was preferable to the stagnancy of staying safe and scared. Going through fear is a way for me to stay sane in my life, and this film is part of that sanity and I’m grateful for it.  There are correlations between the journey of the film and my own effort in creating it.

With GOOD DICK, I wanted to show what love can do to someone’s life, and how love and sex can open a closed person.  I wanted to reintroduce the wonder of sexuality; the titillation of not seeing everything, the romance of a film about real people whose sexiness abounds because of their authenticity.  These days sexuality has somehow become associated with all things false, and I think it’s a mirage.  Characters are attractive to me when they are real people.

The story is almost like a knight slaying a dragon to save a damsel in distress, the man believes he is capable of solving all of the woman’s issues. The dragon however is an illusive foe, because in fact it is a part of her.  Her limitations as a healthy person, her sexual antipathy and her depression are roadblocks for him on his quest.  Eventually his courage and positivity give her the necessary tools to slay the dragon by herself, illustrating how his love for her has reverberated in her life and changed her for the better.

I knew the man had to be strong and thereby protective, but not in a stereotypical sense of male strength.  Definitions of masculinity often tend to be deformed in our culture. In the film the man’s power has nothing to do with his physical strength or his social status.  He is masculine in a way that I find to be genuine; this masculinity stems from his lack of chauvinism. His chivalry includes the woman’s own strength and equality.

David Leveaux once posed the following question to me: How much pain can you go through and still remain open?  With the characters in GOOD DICK, I wanted to illustrate growth as I understand it: what makes change happen, what turns evil into good, how can one person help another grow?  Similarly I gave myself the task as the director to follow the light, so to include myself in the question: How much stress can you go through as a director/artist and still remain open?  I don’t think it would work very well to direct a film as a closed person.  Nothing much works well unless I’m open.”

And if you are presently struggling with personal or relationship issues - reach out and connect with me - this is why I am here.

xoxo

Alissa