I got this from a friend of mine and just had to write a post!

A Message for all women

THIS IS MOVING.  HOW QUICKLY WE FORGET…..IF ….WE EVER KNEW……

WHY WOMEN SHOULD VOTE

This is the story of our Grandmothers and Great-grandmothers; they lived only 90 years ago. Remember, it was not until 1920 that women were granted the right to go to the polls and vote. The women were innocent and defenseless, but they were jailed nonetheless for picketing the White House, carrying signs asking for the vote.

And by the end of the night, they were barely alive. Forty prison guards wielding clubs and their warden’s blessing
went on a rampage against the 33 women wrongly convicted of ‘obstructing sidewalk traffic.’

(Lucy Burns)
They beat Lucy Burns, chained her hands to the cell bars above her head and left her hanging for the night, bleeding and gasping for air.

(Dora Lewis)
They hurled Dora Lewis into a dark cell, smashed her head against an iron bed and knocked her out cold. Her cellmate, Alice Cosu, thought Lewis was dead and suffered a heart attack. Additional affidavits describe the guards grabbing, dragging, beating, choking, slamming, pinching, twisting and kicking the women.

Thus unfolded the ‘Night of Terror’ on Nov. 15, 1917, when the warden at the Occoquan Workhouse in Virginia ordered his guards to teach a lesson to the suffragists imprisoned there because they dared to picket Woodrow Wilson’s White House for the right to vote.
For weeks, the women’s only water came from an open pail. Their food–all of it colorless slop–was infested with worms.

(Alice Paul)
When one of the leaders, Alice Paul, embarked on a hunger strike, they tied her to a chair, forced a tube down her throat and poured liquid into her until she vomited. She was tortured like this for weeks until word was smuggled out to the press.
http://memory.loc.gov/ammem/collections/suffrage/nwp/prisoners.pdf

So, refresh my memory. Some women won’t vote this year because–why, exactly? We have carpool duties? We have to get to work? Our vote doesn’t matter? It’s raining?

Last week, I went to a sparsely attended screening of HBO’s new movie ‘Iron Jawed Angels.’ It is a graphic depiction of the battle these women waged so that I could pull the curtain at the polling booth and have my say. I am ashamed to say I needed the reminder.

All these years later, voter registration is still my passion. But the actual act of voting had become less personal for me, more rote. Frankly, voting often felt more like an obligation than a privilege. Sometimes it was inconvenient.

My friend Wendy, who is my age and studied women’s history, saw the HBO movie, too. When she stopped by my desk to talk about it, she looked angry. She was–with herself. ‘One thought kept coming back to me as I watched that movie,’ she said. ‘What would those women think of the way I use, or don’t use, my right to vote? All of us take it for granted now, not just younger women, but those of us who did seek to learn.’ The right to vote, she said, had become valuable to her ‘all over again.’

HBO released the movie on video and DVD . I wish all history, social studies and government teachers would include the movie in their curriculum I want it shown on Bunco night, too, and anywhere else women gather. I realize this isn’t our usual idea of socializing, but we are not voting in the numbers that we should be, and I think
a little shock therapy is in order.

It is jarring to watch Woodrow Wilson and his cronies try to persuade a psychiatrist to declare Alice Paul insane so that she could be permanently institutionalized. And it is inspiring to watch the doctor refuse. Alice Paul was strong, he said, and brave. That didn’t make her crazy.

The doctor admonished the men: ‘Courage in women is often mistaken for insanity.’

Please, if you are so inclined, pass this on to all the women you know.

We need to get out and vote and use this right that was fought so hard for by these very courageous women. Whether you vote democratic, republican or independent party - remember to vote.

History is being made.

PLEASE EXERCISE YOUR RIGHT TO VOTE

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I know, I know. Just hearing that word gives me the willies. I am not sure if the cringing is more for me because my mother HAD ONE hanging in the shower when I was a kid growing up in Massachusetts or if because I heard those words used by everyone around me when expressing massive disdain for another person. Either way, I never thought I would hear those words again as adult - until Now.

I am in Chicago this summer and WOW do women here profusely use this word! “That guy over there - he is a huge Douche Bag - oh and his friend - he comes up to me and just starts dancing with me and puts his sweaty arm around me without even asking - what a Douche Bag”!! It sounds to me as though this term originated on the East Coast and is making it’s way across America and I have found it here in the midwest. I haven’t heard it used much in the Bay Area - or maybe I just don’t get out enough…

So not only do I hear the young, hip women and men using this term in casual conversation, I also saw a skit on Saturday Night Live (I told you I don’t get out enough!) where they created a game show to pick this year’s Top Douche Bag. It was pretty funny - and if SNL is making fun of it - it is something to make note of.
Today women (and men) are using this word to describe MEN. Not just any guy - a guy who seemingly “deserves” to be honored with such negative accolades. How would a guy even KNOW if he is a “Douche Bag”? He actually could take a test. He could look at videos on YouTube and if he still can’t figure it out, there is a poster depicting the telltale signs of a douche bag! And if you happen to run across a Douche Bag and want to alert the world, there is even a website where people and take pictures of these “Douche Bags,” post them and have them rated on DoucheBagAlert.com! Wild.
As funny as I thought this all was at first, it is a little dangerous too. Is this not just another way to judge and demean people? I looked at some of the pictures that people posted of men (And some women, gasp!) and I think it is all getting a little out of control, some of these guys look rather sweet and innocent to me.
From what I have learned from the Experts on my show, men are trying to PLEASE us, they want to WIN with us and deeply want our APPROVAL. I think the “Douche Bag” is a guy whose ego is out of control, where the person has lost touch with his/her heart, is deeply insecure and dreadfully afraid of being rejected. Why else would they be calling such attention to themselves in such obnoxious, sometimes mean and disconnected ways?

It seems as though these men need some guidance, some training in what Really works in life and with women. I don’t think men today (who have issues with successfully being with women) have solid male role models to demonstrate what really works with women and so they make it up and use trial by fire - guess with who?!
Ladies, if you want to do these men a favor (and as empowered women, it is a much more loving approach), instead of sending their pictures to a website to be rated, send them to the Authentic Man Program
or give them a book by David Deida ( I suggest the Way of the Superior Man).

And then we can really (gratefully) leave Douche Bags as a thing of the past!

James McAvoy is all over media these days. His time has come. And it is well deserved. I have been in love with this man for a while now. He is gorgeous with his humility, bright eyes and easy way – not to mention a mesmerizing Scottish accent. Today I realized that (of course) it is not the man James McAvoy I am in love with so much as the kind of man he represents. James’ characters represent the Ideal Man.

His leading man roles depict the fantasy relationship most women dream about. His characters are men who love deeply, who will give up anything, change their lives, give their all to be with the leading lady and live happily ever after. He is the epitome of a man dedicated to love, to his passion for his lady and for upholding personal truth and honor all the while. Even though he plays the bad boy, we see his tender heart, which ultimately gets transformed by love. Underneath his rough and steely exterior, we see his sweet, innocent yearning, his dedication to honor, integrity and doing the “right” thing. A solid, truthful, underdog man who is completely in love with me!? Bring it on!

One of the hottest scenes in atonement is when he and Keira Knightly discover their affection for each other is mutual and he pins her up against the bookshelf and takes her. Now I know it looked a little rough and it IS Hollywood afterall, but it is that kind of hot, masculine “I am going to take you now” energy that I love experiencing so much.

I think the feminine heart aches for a man like that, who will love us through our resistance and walls. And still he has direction, conviction, passion and Boundaries. James McAvoy’s characters represent a kind of love that oozes passion, dedication, appreciation, faith, compassion, generosity and integrity among other things. From all that I am learning from the experts I interview on this show, I know that kind of love and dedication is possible in my own life with my real partner which makes the fantasy a little more real. And so I keep learning, loving myself, sharing my heart, take care of my soul’s needs and following my dreams. And in the meantime, I love being swept away by the characters James and his leading ladies play oh so well.

Like most entrepreneurial types these days, I don’t really have an office. I see massage clients in space I rent with a collective of healers. I see coaching clients in my apartment living room or we talk on the phone. As for doing deep thinking kind of work and getting my creative Groove on, I am at a loss to find a location that is calm, supportive and friendly.
I can no longer be at home. First off, I live in a gorgeous studio apartment with my partner, which is great but it is not enough SPACE for two. Second, I either start cleaning, eating or pruning the garden instead of digging to my newsletter, blog or interview preparation! It never fails! At first I thought I was the only one who suffered from “Workathomeitis” and the inevitable suck of the surroundings to distract one from their all important work in the world.  Not the case - whew!

Today I am sitting in a cafe called Ritual Roasters on Valencia in the Mission neighborhood of San Francisco. An Awesome place to get a great cup of coffee, espresso or a tasty pastry and sit among other hip, focused entrepreneurs blasting out their creative juices into the world like full, ripe Vermont blueberries dancing atop a slice of velvety New York cheesecake.

But therein lies the problem. As the music overhead RAGES on (some kind of crazy drum and guitar rift at 9:52am), I realize my choices are extremely limited when it comes to finding a place where I can connect and get energized by the energy of my fellow non-corporate comrades without being lured by the seductive fingers of highly acidic coffee and sugary pastry that serves to do little more than fill my body with ingredients that provide little-to-no nutritional value.
So I found this AMAZING company that creates office space for people like me who are in dire need of a healthy, calm, supportive “office” environment! They are called Sandbox Suites and they provide the kind of community and space my heart, body and mind have been aching for! I hope for all you entrepreneurs you have spaces like this in your neck of the woods! For now, I will listen to Coldplay, “Green Eyes” and drink chai and grace the world with my little piece of love offering. Ah, I love the internet. And Chris Martin. And…

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The song goes on to tell the tale of how a woman was dating a man who dumped her because she was fat, she then loses all kinds of weight (for herself, of course) and goes on to blow off the guy. This CD is awesome and such a fun and light-hearted approach to getting psyched up to work out!

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When I heard the news that Heath Ledger was found dead, I shrieked. One of the few men in Hollywood that seemed to have a solid foundation in being a MAN, is gone. This is devastating for many people who idolized Heath as one of the greatest budding actors of all time. But with every tragedy, there is a lesson, something we can learn.
The gift of this event can be to look at what is acting and why we idolize actors. We idolize actors because they take us to places in our hearts and minds we are not practiced to go. Invoking fear, lust, passion, vitriol…actors pull us into emotions and feelings we would rather forget or only hope to experience. or so we THINK.

I want to share with you a tool called Sacred Theatre “that provides a framework for exploring the possibilities of enjoying life as a work of performance art. It is a way of looking at the world and yourself that invites you to dedicate your own life to a sacred audience, and play it fully with passion and power.”

I think we as a planet of human beings, would be much better off, healthier, more balanced if we spent our time learning about the different kinds of stages we create for ourselves, realizing that anything that has ever happened to us is with us now and take the time to heal that, instead of watching someone else play out the hurts and joys of our own hearts.

So, Heath is gone. Many will mourn. Men and women alike will feel the loss, for he was a gorgeous man who appealed to the tenderness in women as well as the virility in men. Rare, so rare in this day and age. And yet, maybe it is a calling for us to wake up to where we are acting in our lives, locate our own unique gifts, express our hidden faces and masks that we think are too awful to express.

And maybe then, something so confusing, sad and devastating can give birth to greater awareness and deeper love.

Namaste.

Every month I have the distinct joy and pleasure of helping to facilitate an amazing course called the Authentic Man Program offered here in San Francisco. This course serves men by supporting them in seeing what is in the way of their experiencing all the power, strength, self expression and love they know is inside of them, eager to be expressed.

During this life-transforming weekend, consistently one of the results we see is that men get in touch with the core wounds that have been (mostly unconsciously) in the way of them having the life, relationships and love they crave. We see them enter the course in a variety of places; tight, closed, scared, feigning joviality, and straight-up arrogant. So, what does this have to do with WOMEN? A lot.
We as women are not taught the REALITY about who men are (check out Alison Armstrong for more insight). We are taught (usually) or from experience, think that men are dumb, angry, scary, aloof, arrogant, competitive and that all they want is sex. While we see men acting out these ways of being in society, men are SO MUCH more than we know. Men are not taught to express their feelings and emotions, which is why many times they end up tight, closed and angry. Most men have experienced some kind of trauma in their lives and have absolutely no outlet for getting those hurts expressed and healed.
We as women (who deeply want to connect and love our men) have little practical training on how to be with our men when their triggers are activated. What it is important to realize is that there is a sensitive, smart, tender, eager to love and be loved man over there desperately trying to handle his life AND his emotions AND also figure out how to please US all at the same time. How intense!

As empowered women, it is our responsibility to learn who men are and how to effectively hold space for our men when they are being less than stellar with us. Men are really scared sh*tless to tell us what is really going on for them. Men have little experience with crying, collapsing and allowing themselves to feel the range of emotions that pass through them, just as they pass through us.

I see what a little space, understanding and love can do for a man. It is the fuel that he needs to “slay the dragon” and be our hero. WE have the power to elicit that kind of dedication with our dates, lovers and husbands. WE have the power to steer our relationships where we want them to go. We as WOMEN have that power. I say we claim it!

Tell me:
How do you put love on your man?
What do you do to help understand who it is your loving?
When was the last time you and your lover cried together? What is in the way?

I want to hear from you. What do you want to learn about men? What are your most curious questions about men? What do you want to know about what it takes to have a strong, loving, relationship with a man?

I don’t like when I hear that “men are dumb” because it perpetuates a perception of men that is not healthy or positive. After talking with Dr. Amir Sabongui in a recent interview, I see that even the smartest, most savvy of men will not always get what we need or want. Men are not dumb, they just are not women and they will never understand what it is like to be a flowing, deeply sensate, emotional, intuitive, sensual being with a million desires that change in every moment.
As empowered women who are completely responsible for our lives and the quality of our lives, it makes sense that we can benefit from understanding the nature of men. It is important for us to consider that men are naturally driven to fix things - men want us to be happy - men tend toward isolation - they are not intentionally pissing us off or making us crazy - that is choice WE get to make or not.

We treat men (and anyone) with attitudes that are borne out of our own minds, our own perspectives - that is why it is REALLY important to have clear information about who men are, what motivates and hinders them, what they need to feel supported and loved so they can unleash the kind of desire, attention and romance we deeply crave.
I really appreciate what Amir has to say about men and what men need to feel taken care of by women. This is the kind of information that will wake us up from our own innocent ignorance about men to help us have the sexy, yummy, fun and authentic relationships we are here to create!

Ladies, let me know what hot topics you want to hear about!