yikes   

Our culture is permeated with the thinking that looking and feeling great is THE way to be and live life.  And if you are not on top of the world in all ways - there is something vwery, vwery wrong with you!  We have very little space for fear, anxiety, looking bad and making (GASP!) mistakes!

I am reading a very important book in my life (personally) right now called “The Conscious Bride” that my sweet fiancee bought for me.  It is a fantastic collection of real stories from women who share their experiences and TRUE feelings about being engaged and planning their weddings.

“Anger is our body’s way of trying to communicate with us,” says author Sheryl Nissinen, author of “The Conscious Bride” explaining the importance of slowing down and listening to our bodies as we become fully immersed in the wedding planning process.  She goes on to talk at great length about how normal it is to not only NOT be in bliss during the planning process but rather, how common it is for brides to feel many heavy emotions that leave us feeling as though there is something wrong with us.

Sadness, anger, fear and anxiety that commonly arises during this transformative time in our lives goes relatively unsupported in our American culture and society.  The Conscious Bride reminds us that we are going through a phenomenal transition and it is important (if not imperative) to acknowledge and feel the many uncomfortable feelings, thoughts, and emotions that surface as we “take the opportunity to assess who we have been within our current indentity as well as who we will become as wife.”

I must say, this book is giving me a lot of space to feel the (surprising) growing pains of shedding my life as a wild, black sheep, independent, adventurous single woman and turn toward the future of being accountable to my husband and eventual family.  This is a very tender time in my life. I notice I am feeling many waves of sadness wash through me and an inescapable desire to cocoon into my own little world much of the time.

It wasn’t until I started reading this book that I felt understood in my turmoil, relieved to hear similiar stories and so grateful that a powerful woman has written a book about how to be an emotionally stable, conscious, kind and grounded woman on her wedding day!  As well as how to deal with the sometimes shockingly painful emotions that come with being a bride-to-be, that are mostly swept under the rug leaving us to feel even more strange in a strange land.

“It is where she grieves her death as a maiden, cocoons herself in the silks and veils of the bride, and prepares for her emergence as a changed woman, one who is ready to become a wife.”

A delicate time indeed.

If you are a woman who is a bride-to-be, let me know.  I would love to hear from you and what questions you might have about coping with this delicate time in your life.  Or, the joys and successes you are experiencing.

Namaste,

Alissa