With laser like focus and whole lot of wisdom about dating, Jordan Harbinger, teacher and dating coach with The Art of Charm, gives us the skinny on how understanding Social Dynamics can be used by both men and women to arrive at that first luscious kiss!  In this interview, Jordan distinguishes for us the difference between Pick Up Artists and Dating Coaches, what “high value” is, why it is really important for us to be nice to men.  A man very comfortable in his own skin, Jordan talks about “The Modern Gentleman” and how The Art of Charm is ushering in a new breed of men (and women!) schooled in intimacy, honesty, communication and confidence.  NICE.  It’s all the information we never learned growing up, brought to us by peers who make it their life’s mission to be better, more loving people.  DOUBLEY NICE.

This is one of four interviews, in a series with The Art of Charm expert teachers and coaches who are brimming with expert information, insight and advice on how to be the best person you can be and attract the opposite from there.

Hey there is great Indy film launching this week in the Bay Area.  It is called Good Dick and I am going to check it out with my like minded homeys this Friday night at the Opera Plaza Theater.
Produced by my friend’s friend’s sister, I am always happy to support Indy films!  It has received great reviews so I am bringing a whole bunch of my friends, who are also relationship coaches to check it out.  I will let you know what I think.  Check it out in a theater near YOU!

“Before working on GOOD DICK, I went through a metamorphosis from an inactive observer and opinionated commentator to an active, courageous participant in my own artistic journey.  I realized that everybody can sing in the shower, but it’s something else to sing in front of a crowd.  The definition of courage includes fear.  If there is no fear, you can’t be courageous.  So I decided that the process of going through fear was preferable to the stagnancy of staying safe and scared. Going through fear is a way for me to stay sane in my life, and this film is part of that sanity and I’m grateful for it.  There are correlations between the journey of the film and my own effort in creating it.

With GOOD DICK, I wanted to show what love can do to someone’s life, and how love and sex can open a closed person.  I wanted to reintroduce the wonder of sexuality; the titillation of not seeing everything, the romance of a film about real people whose sexiness abounds because of their authenticity.  These days sexuality has somehow become associated with all things false, and I think it’s a mirage.  Characters are attractive to me when they are real people.

The story is almost like a knight slaying a dragon to save a damsel in distress, the man believes he is capable of solving all of the woman’s issues. The dragon however is an illusive foe, because in fact it is a part of her.  Her limitations as a healthy person, her sexual antipathy and her depression are roadblocks for him on his quest.  Eventually his courage and positivity give her the necessary tools to slay the dragon by herself, illustrating how his love for her has reverberated in her life and changed her for the better.

I knew the man had to be strong and thereby protective, but not in a stereotypical sense of male strength.  Definitions of masculinity often tend to be deformed in our culture. In the film the man’s power has nothing to do with his physical strength or his social status.  He is masculine in a way that I find to be genuine; this masculinity stems from his lack of chauvinism. His chivalry includes the woman’s own strength and equality.

David Leveaux once posed the following question to me: How much pain can you go through and still remain open?  With the characters in GOOD DICK, I wanted to illustrate growth as I understand it: what makes change happen, what turns evil into good, how can one person help another grow?  Similarly I gave myself the task as the director to follow the light, so to include myself in the question: How much stress can you go through as a director/artist and still remain open?  I don’t think it would work very well to direct a film as a closed person.  Nothing much works well unless I’m open.”

And if you are presently struggling with personal or relationship issues - reach out and connect with me - this is why I am here.

xoxo

Alissa

Well, I did see some bare breasts, which was nice… and some naked older dudes on bikes (they always seem to make their way into the fray somehow), but hey, it is all about expression here in San Francisco and Halloween Night was no exception for the Critical Mass ride.  The last Friday of the month is when this event happens and this year it had the great good fortune to fall directly on Halloween Night, so I thought I would de-virginize myself with my great friends Zorro (Bryan Bayer) and Cowboy (Garrison Cohen).

A newbie to the scene, I had a blast riding among thousands of costume-clad riders as we took to the streets to express our creativity and support the of use of alternatives to driving cars.  My costume was “Baby Bear” where  I wore 50% hand-made clothing from local designers whose garments put the FUN back into FUNctional!!

I had the best time cheering on Zorro, who rode my Burning Man, beach-cruiser bike that has NO gears, up the steep hills of China Town.  Many fellow riders joined in as we cheered Zorro on to make it to the top!  The best was hearing a random French accent say “You can dew it Zorro - Go Zorro!”  I nearly fell off my bike!

Also, I restored my faith in angles, guides and whatever “higher authority” there is when I my front tire started colliding with Garrisons back tire  - IN A TUNNEL full of whizzing bike riders - and I thought

“Oh my God I am going to get severely injured if I fall in this tunnel”

and then I heard a voice say “FOCUS - HOLD ON TIGHT AND FOCUS”

so I did and slowly he pulled away and I never did crash

but BOY, was I SCARED!!!

I think next year I will stick to taking pictures along the sidelines!!