I know, I know. Just hearing that word gives me the willies. I am not sure if the cringing is more for me because my mother HAD ONE hanging in the shower when I was a kid growing up in Massachusetts or if because I heard those words used by everyone around me when expressing massive disdain for another person. Either way, I never thought I would hear those words again as adult - until Now.

I am in Chicago this summer and WOW do women here profusely use this word! “That guy over there - he is a huge Douche Bag - oh and his friend - he comes up to me and just starts dancing with me and puts his sweaty arm around me without even asking - what a Douche Bag”!! It sounds to me as though this term originated on the East Coast and is making it’s way across America and I have found it here in the midwest. I haven’t heard it used much in the Bay Area - or maybe I just don’t get out enough…

So not only do I hear the young, hip women and men using this term in casual conversation, I also saw a skit on Saturday Night Live (I told you I don’t get out enough!) where they created a game show to pick this year’s Top Douche Bag. It was pretty funny - and if SNL is making fun of it - it is something to make note of.
Today women (and men) are using this word to describe MEN. Not just any guy - a guy who seemingly “deserves” to be honored with such negative accolades. How would a guy even KNOW if he is a “Douche Bag”? He actually could take a test. He could look at videos on YouTube and if he still can’t figure it out, there is a poster depicting the telltale signs of a douche bag! And if you happen to run across a Douche Bag and want to alert the world, there is even a website where people and take pictures of these “Douche Bags,” post them and have them rated on DoucheBagAlert.com! Wild.
As funny as I thought this all was at first, it is a little dangerous too. Is this not just another way to judge and demean people? I looked at some of the pictures that people posted of men (And some women, gasp!) and I think it is all getting a little out of control, some of these guys look rather sweet and innocent to me.
From what I have learned from the Experts on my show, men are trying to PLEASE us, they want to WIN with us and deeply want our APPROVAL. I think the “Douche Bag” is a guy whose ego is out of control, where the person has lost touch with his/her heart, is deeply insecure and dreadfully afraid of being rejected. Why else would they be calling such attention to themselves in such obnoxious, sometimes mean and disconnected ways?

It seems as though these men need some guidance, some training in what Really works in life and with women. I don’t think men today (who have issues with successfully being with women) have solid male role models to demonstrate what really works with women and so they make it up and use trial by fire - guess with who?!
Ladies, if you want to do these men a favor (and as empowered women, it is a much more loving approach), instead of sending their pictures to a website to be rated, send them to the Authentic Man Program
or give them a book by David Deida ( I suggest the Way of the Superior Man).

And then we can really (gratefully) leave Douche Bags as a thing of the past!