Wow - if you haven’t checked out Capessa.com yet, you MUST take a look. This site is designed to connect and support women in all areas of our lives and I am one of the lucky women who is blogging about Dating, Relationships and Sex!

Take a peak at the video clip where you can get the skinny on some of the keys to having the relationship of your dreams:

1) Know what you want - be willing to ASK for what you want.

2) Determine the type of relationship you want
3) Solid partnerships require you being whole and complete - don’t force yourself into a mold

4) Be honest about what you want - love yourself enough to go for what you want!

Please post a comment and join the fun, it could be your chance to get some great relationship coaching from me! If you are committed to having your deepest desires fulfilled this year, get your copy of my book “Living Your Dreams” and know that I am available for private relationship coaching sessions.

Namaste.

When I heard the news that Heath Ledger was found dead, I shrieked. One of the few men in Hollywood that seemed to have a solid foundation in being a MAN, is gone. This is devastating for many people who idolized Heath as one of the greatest budding actors of all time. But with every tragedy, there is a lesson, something we can learn.
The gift of this event can be to look at what is acting and why we idolize actors. We idolize actors because they take us to places in our hearts and minds we are not practiced to go. Invoking fear, lust, passion, vitriol…actors pull us into emotions and feelings we would rather forget or only hope to experience. or so we THINK.

I want to share with you a tool called Sacred Theatre “that provides a framework for exploring the possibilities of enjoying life as a work of performance art. It is a way of looking at the world and yourself that invites you to dedicate your own life to a sacred audience, and play it fully with passion and power.”

I think we as a planet of human beings, would be much better off, healthier, more balanced if we spent our time learning about the different kinds of stages we create for ourselves, realizing that anything that has ever happened to us is with us now and take the time to heal that, instead of watching someone else play out the hurts and joys of our own hearts.

So, Heath is gone. Many will mourn. Men and women alike will feel the loss, for he was a gorgeous man who appealed to the tenderness in women as well as the virility in men. Rare, so rare in this day and age. And yet, maybe it is a calling for us to wake up to where we are acting in our lives, locate our own unique gifts, express our hidden faces and masks that we think are too awful to express.

And maybe then, something so confusing, sad and devastating can give birth to greater awareness and deeper love.

Namaste.

One of the reasons I LOVE hosting Just for Women is that I get to research and learn from some of the MOST incredible Love and Relationship experts in the field today. I am clear that doing this in-depth work over the past year has helped me clear out some old, unconscious beliefs about myself and awaken me to my deep self love and self worth.

It is from this place of honoring myself, learning to have strong boundaries and following my own vision for how I want my life to go, that I have the great pleasure of being in a relationship that makes my heart feel at home. Calm, supported, warm, paid attention to, held, loved, cherished, and at peace are the words I use to describe how I feel in this relationship. And according to a recent interview with Charlotte Kasl, author of the acclaimed book If the Buddha Dated, I am right on target.

We tend to forget that the design of relationship is learn about ourselves, to have compassion for each other and our humanity. It is about growing love, for ourselves, our lovers, our children and the world. It is about maturity, cooperation, understanding who each other is (as a gender) and allowing our unique gifts to shine.

But if our models for relationship growing up did not teach us the real, intended design of the glory of relating, then how would we ever know it? Well mostly we don’t and so we suffer. We suffer enough until we cry UNCLE and then we start to seek understand and support. This is what happened to me.

I am so glad I cried Uncle and gave up that I knew anything about how to have a successful relationship, men or what men needed to commit to me for a lifetime. It was from this place that all the vulnerability and love and innocence (we tend to avoid in life) became my way of life. It was from this place, I met one of the most solid, smart, open and loving men I had been intending to meet for a very long time.

Rick and I are here to do some deep work together. We are completely clear of the design of what relationship will bring up, how important bringing 100% responsibility to the relationship is, and that LOVE is the foundation and never-ending goal of each interaction we have together.

So wherever you are in life, single, married, divorced, widowed; LOVE yourself FIRST!! It is the key to all of your dreams coming true. If you are not loving yourself, you have little love to give. Until I really started loving myself and opening up to the Inquiry of what Love and being in an intimate relationship are all about, I was lost in despair and ego-driven living. Free yourself, your mind and your heart. You are in the perfect place - LOVE IT. And from there, you will attract what will sustain, honor and nurture you all the days of your life.

Namaste.

Ok, now that we have taken the time to rehash the past and feel all of those feelings we might have avoided in the last blog posting… (there is still time if you have been too scared or resigned to dig in!) it is time to Create the Future!

I personally don’t like hanging out in feelings that don’t feel good to me or forward where I desire to go in life. I support you in doing the same. It is important to face, process and heal wounds; that is so you can move on to the reason we are all here - to enjoy the abundance and beauty of life and living!

If I sound like an exuberant cheerleader waving her pom-pom’s and jumping all around, it is because the more I practice what I preach, the more I see amazing results happening and want to share my joy with YOU!

I created a vision board (cut out pictures, words, etc. that capture all your desires - read more in my book “Living your Dreams”) in 2007 that included OM symbols, a diamond ring, yoga poses, travel pictures, etc. - and by the end of 2007 - I had done most of the things on my vision board - including getting engaged on Christmas Day! - VISION BOARDS WORK!
Ok - so the second step is to ~ Take the time to create 2008.

If you have not already done so, pick three areas of your life that deeply inspire you to make a lot of progress on this year. This can be anything from Financial Abundance, Thriving Relationships, Inspiring Career, Happy Hobbies, Self-Care, Gorgeous Body, etc.

After you pick these areas, write down what Success in each of these categories would look like to you.

One of my areas of focus this year is Financial Abundance. I wrote “Success in the area of Financial Abundance looks like me having $50k in the bank, zero debt, start of a diversified investment portfolio and double-digit savings.” That is a pretty clear plan and allows me, the people around me and Universal Guidance to conspire to help me achieve those goals!

It is also gives me a great foundation from which I can create my Vision Board. I will post a picture of my 2008 vision board when it is complete (due by the end of next week!) I would LOVE to see your vision boards for 2008 - so pls send me your pictures!

Have a great week!

Choosing Joy,

Alissa

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!

What I want to support you in doing, on this bright, crisp 2nd day of 2008, is getting grounded in making the year ahead an incredible year for you!
Each day this week I am going to offer you some suggestions for getting your energy focused on what you truly desire to create. Today starts with…
1) Get complete with 2007. It will be difficult to move into a great, new year if you are still holding onto or stuck in less-than-stellar feelings, situations, or events that happened last year. One suggestion for putting the past in the past are write it down and burn it! Write down all the disappointments, resentments, judgments, vitriol, venom, nasty stuff that is in your head with wild abandon.

This is for you and your spirit alone to process and complete. Let the “little girl” or “inner child” in you have a voice too (write with your opposite hand) and see what she has to say. By really letting yourself tap into your upset and rage about what did or didn’t happen during the year, you free yourself, your mind, your heart and your precious energy to focus on creating the Best Year of Your Life! Tune into the deeply insightful interview I did with Debbie Ford recently for more understanding on how to create the best year of your life and what might be in the way.

Let yourself really feel the disappointment, sadness, frustration. You can do this with a friend, a group of friends, or alone. Whatever serves you best - but really DO IT!!

Once you feel you have gotten all of the unhappies down on paper, rip the paper into little pieces so you can burn it. I suggest doing this outside, in nature, at the beach if possible so that energy has more room to float away into the ethers where it can be recycled. It can be powerful too, to recite intentions and affirmations as the paper is burning:

“I release all the events of 2007″

“I am happy to let go of all that did not serve me in 2007″

“It feels great to let go of the past”

“I consciously let go of 2007 with love and compassion for myself”

“I release any make-wrong of myself for anything I did not do in 2007″

“I free my self and my mind to create a bright new future for myself”

Saying these statements out loud is a signal to your mind, your spirit, and anything that guides you in your life that you are serious about letting go, loving yourself and MOVING ON.
Tomorrow we discuss Creating 2008!

Have a Blessed Day!

Alissa