The SF Weekly had a great article recently discussing why vibrant, together, smart and sexy women of today (Strivers) would date men who are irresponsible, sloppy and sucking off of them for money (Slackers).

Hmmm, as a Modern Day “Striver” myself, the only reason I would spend more than one date with a man who showed signs of being a Slacker was if I thought I could have some unique fun with him. I also would have to be in the “I am dating and not serious about finding a solid man to create a life with” phase too, otherwise, no Slackers allowed.
I think Slackers can be a lot of fun, I have had my spin with a few and have had some great experiences. (The soul does seek to experience, after all). They seem to be adventurous - probably feeling they have nothing to lose because they don’t own anything of real value. Usually they are sexually turned on and willing to explore because they lack the depth and aptitude for deep intimacy with a radiant woman. Many times it was my pleasure to pay his way, until I realized he really wasn’t ever going to take me shopping for lingerie or whisk me off to Auberge du Soleil for a night of hot sex under the Napa Valley stars.

I agree with Mary Spicuzza (what a great name!) when she says “For me, the defining characteristic of a slacker isn’t a lack of income, but a lack of commitment or passion (or an inability to show it) to those he loves.” Yes and I will take this one step further.

Slackers can have passion (to snowboarding and smoking weed) as well as commitment (to living in poverty and always being right). But can they access their HEART? Can they listen to our desires? Can they stand up and not collapse or react when we are having a “hell day” and need them to be there for us? Or do they go for the bong, beer or bed to deflect feeling and staying PRESENT for what is going on?

It is time for men to step up and do their inner work, wake up to what it is that women want and need and learn how to give it to them. Why? So us Strivers can finally shut off our multitasking minds, get into our bodies and deeply relax into our FEMININE softness and deliciousness of being WOMAN…aahhhhh.

Tune in to Just for Women for resources in helping the Slacker men in your life learn how to rise to the occasion (and I am not talking about a woody here : ) ).

Peace In.

As I am sitting here in bed (don’t get jealous, I strained my back and have been laid out for days!) I came across a blog posting from two of my favorite Sex Coaches, Celeste and Danielle, that reminded me of the power and blessing that it is to be a woman.
They write “all women are sensuous goddesses whose bodies can experience sensation and pleasure and whose hearts can experience passion and connection… return to the knowledge that you are already a perfect, luscious and yes, sexual, being.”

Ah, isn’t it fantastic that we can hop online and in a few seconds be reminded of all the fabulousness of being alive, a woman, a sexual being, a goddess…

If you are wanting a great shot in the arm of the magnificence of being a woman, check out my interview with Celeste and Danielle who inspire all of us to be the greatest women we can be and who actively show us how.

Most of the issues we deal with in life, come from our confusion about who we are as women, which is at the heart of the work that Celeste and Danielle do. We think we have to forego our wants and desires to please others. We think we should give and give and give while receiving is frowned upon. It seems to be the most difficult thing to allow ourselves PLEASURE. Well, it is time to start getting back into balance with the amount of hard work we do by allowing ourselves that same amount of pleasure!

We MUST learn how to ask for what we want and also how to RECEIVE. It took me two days of lying on my back with tears in my eyes before I got on the phone to ask friends for some help. And it took me a second to receive all the love that came back when I asked for what I wanted.

Once we start exercising that ARM (Asking and Receiving Muscle), we start to see all the love available around us. And you know who stepped up the most? The men in my life - men ReAlly like to provide for women! We just have to ask them and let them do it. Men want to be our hero and when we allow ourselves to ask men for what we want and let them know how important they are in our lives, they just beam. Really, try it. And let me know how it goes.