I couldn’t believe it. There I was on vacation in Boston at my mom’s house playing with my baby niece Lilah

when lo and behold I hear Oprah announce that there are LOTS of great, single men over 35 available right now - and she is going to give us a sampling! So out of the ethers of Harpo Productions flow close to 50, prettied up, decked out in GAP wear, men who have active online profiles with Match.com.

Say what you will about her, this is what I love about Oprah. She listens to her audience (savvy women who seek to continually empower themselves - hey that’s MY audience too!). She (or her marketing people anyway) asks women what their complaints are, what their biggest issues are, WHAT is causing them the MOST pain - and she gives us some solutions. 50 eligible bachelors in this case. We know online dating is mostly a nightmare - but she is letting us know - that there are some great MEN still out there!
I love it. I don’t get to watch Oprah much, so I figured it was a sign from God that I needed to blog about this show and let women know to KEEP THE FAITH that there ARE IN FACT a lot of hot, smart, sweet, stable bachelors out there. Not only that, San Francisco was listed as #5 in the Top 20 Cities to Find Single Men!

Geez, maybe Just for Women should start hosting some gatherings for like minded love seekers…

I read a blog post recently that talked about how upset a woman was that a man she was “over the moon” about after a few ONLINE exchanges, stood her up. I can get it.

We are so excited when there is new energy being exchanged with a new prospect (especially if we havent had that kind of excitement in a while) that all of our systems turn toward GO. But then we are shocked when things don’t turn out ~ namely he doesn’t even show up for the date. Instead of freaking out and spewing a lot of anger about what he did, we, as Empowered Women, have a few other choices about how to handle the situation:
1) COMPASSION. Instead of allowing ourselves to go into the habitual and mostly unconscious reaction of blaming him for being an ass, we really need to look at having compassion for ourselves and our huge, tender hearts. It is really important that we love that fact that we are willing to trust another, share with another, love another inspite of the fact that we know know very little about the person.

2) WAKE UP. From this place of compassion for ourselves (and him for whatever fears, lies, insecurities he is dealing with - for they are BIG) it is important that we WAKE up to this opportunity to learn something about ourselves. Why are we so quick to be “over the moon” for someone we hardly know? What is it about ourselves, our hearts, our boundaries that we can fall for someone without REALLY knowing who he is?

3) CHOICE. We always have a choice when it comes to how we react (or act) in a situation. If we are going to be FULLY empowered women and serve our family, friends and society toward greater love and peace we must start with ourselves and how we deal with intense emotions that come up. When anger comes, BREATH into the emotion. Cry, write, throw a pillow around, but OWN that emotion. Own the feeling UNDER the anger - FEEL the sadness…and then let it go….
I am here to connect women with tools, resources, information, courses and expert authors who empower us to empower ourselves! Please let me know what you want to hear about. Give me your comments!

And for great tools to help you be a more empowered woman, buy my book and start practicing the powerful exercises contained therein!

Namaste ~

I found this funny thing while I was replying to an Evite invitation. It is called MIRRORS which stands for My Instant Reflective Recognition of My Rockin Self. It takes your picture and manipulates it to say funny things depending on your mood. It is sponsored by Tone (soap not Loke). Check it out, it only takes a few minutes and some of them are really funny - I like the Rrrr mood…how they got my eye to wink I will never know - but it is cute. Just click the icon in the upper right hand corner to put your picture in there.  Have fun!

How much hair do YOU have down “there”?

I was told recently during my vacation on a beach in Massachusetts (no less) that “skin is IN” when it comes to pubic hair. I have heard of the Three Finger, Two Finger and One Finger “Landing Strip” references when it comes to pubic hair width (just hold your fingers over your hair and shave away!), but I didn’t realize that it is also now more and more fashionable to shave our pubic hair off completely.

I don’t know, this raises a few questions for me. One, isn’t that hair there to protect our yoni’s from unwanted things like over-exposure to the sun? Two, isn’t that just a little to close to looking like a little girls yoni and not the full radiance of a mature womans genitalia?
So, I did a little research and found this article on some of the ideas fueling the “Full Shave” experience, namely that supposedly gives us access to better sex. Our Aussie sisters are convinced!

If you are wanting to learn more about the pro’s and con’s of this sexy, hairless trend, and how to have it done professionally, check out this article.

Also, let me know you thoughts. What do you think about shaving bare down there? Do YOU have better sex without any pubic hair? What about men? Do you like when they shave their pubic hair? Is that sexy or weird?

Always here to empower YOU.

My breasts are size 36C ~ otherwise known as LARGE ~ especially for my petite 5′2″ frame. I have done my fair share to keep my breasts and associated cleavage under wraps (literally) my whole life. I felt like I had to cover myself up lest I attract “unwanted” attention. So I lived in anger and resentment for a long time over the idea that men couldn’t keep their oogling in check and I had to be recipient of this uncomfortable staring and commenting.
In my early 30’s I learned that “Men are visual - they are always going to look at you, it is in their DNA, so get used to it and try to smile and have compassion.” It took me A LONG time to get this one - but I have come a long way in owning my sexuality AND understanding the visual creatures men are and to how to be nice to them instead of making nasty faces or ignoring them completely. Thank goodness for Alison Armstrong!

Shit, I look at hot women myself - sometimes you just can’t help it - it goes for hot men too - we are sexual beings, we ooze phermones and scents and odors that naturally and involuntarily ATTRACT each other. So, when I read this article, on Feministing.com, my new fave website, it ruffled my own feminine feathers.
“A German bus driver threatened to throw a 20-year-old sales clerk off his bus in the southern town of Lindau because he said she was too sexy, a newspaper reported Monday.

“Suddenly he stopped the bus,” the woman named Debora C. told Bild newspaper. “He opened the door and shouted at me ‘Your cleavage is distracting me every time I look into my mirror and I can’t concentrate on the traffic. If you don’t sit somewhere else, I’m going to have to throw you off the bus.’”

Now this is the kind of nonsense that perpetuates the kind of unhealthy relating I detest. In Germany no less! That anyone would put someone else responsible for their own actions, reactions, or state of mind, is completely off-base. We (men and women) have to take responsibility for ourselves, our actions and reactions. Especially when it comes to man/woman dynamics! Peace comes from within.
Clearly this bus driver had something going in his life so pressing that he had to project his misguided anger onto this woman and her cleavage. Geez, you’d think he’d be grateful to see such beauty. But the feminine honoring has been deeply lost in this world and it is our charge to get it back.

Remember, I am not saying the guy was right, AND it is this womans choice to allow this mans ignorance to effect her or not.
We are ALL at CHOICE, ALL of the TIME.

PEACE OUT!

I was at a lively BBQ over the weekend with some of my more open, conscious and yummy friends. There were all kinds of vegan options for the Barbie and the host is a practicing Buddhist who doesn’t even drink alcohol. I LOVE living in San Francisco.

It was a typical summer BBQ in The City. The sunny, late afternoon backyard party was soon dispersed by gale force winds and bone chilling fog that arrived right on time like a proper guest. So as we were all now warmly inside, huddled in small groups around the house, I overheard a conversation between two men that I just HAD to delve into uninvited.

They were talking about relationships and how “what women want” has dramatically changed over the past 10 years. I completely appreciated that two handsome, smart, and gregarious men were having such a juicy and insightful conversation about what women desire NOW. They were allowing me to see that men (some men, these men) are REALLY PAYING ATTENTION to what pleases women of today. Without words, I got their effort to understand and provide for us “modern women” as we have grown, matured and evolved our desires. Yey!
So, here they are the 5 C’s to Keeping your Woman (from two hot, modern men!)

1) COMPLIMENTS. Women love compliments. LOTS of them. Gone is the desire for hard-to-get, playing games, beat around the bush, let me insult you as a way of flirting with you kind of bullshit. We want to be SEEN and honored for our gifts whether they be physical, intellectual, spiritual or otherwise - let us know you see who we are and the difference that makes for you. Oh, and LOOK into our eyes, tenderly hold our hand(s) or arm when you say it for extra points.

2) CUDDLING. Cuddle parties are IN and we LOVE to cuddle. In this day and age of the “have sex by the THIRD date or something is wrong with one or both of you” mentality, cuddling is a nice bridge to more conscious sex. Cuddling is a GREAT way to get to know each other, slow down, and breath without going straight for the steamy, animal sex your body craves. Cuddle your woman, look into her eyes (yes, again!) and experience the depth of who is looking back at you.

3) CHOCOLATE. At first, I begged to differ on this one since I don’t really like sugary chocolate. But after more conversation about the many TYPES of chocolate available today, I realized YES CHOCOLATE would make most any woman happy! I prefer raw chocolate made with organic cacao and cayenne pepper. Picky Bitch, YES I KNOW! ~ HEY we have to know what TRULY makes us happy and be willing to ask for it - how else can we ever receive it? These guys are more than happy to go find that raw chocolate!

4) CUNNILINGUS. “One who licks the vulva” - haha! - that is from our friends at dictionary.com (ok, so I had to make sure I was spelling it correctly). Yes, the act or practice of orally stimulating the female genitals is HIGHLY regarded as one of the top 5 way to KEEP your woman. And ladies - tell your man what YOU like when he is excavating your temple! Men WANT to know, men WANT to please us, we just need to give them some loving guidance ~ and if you are with a man for whom pleasing you is a chore or issue - you’ve got some SELF LOVE to develop my sweet. Be with a man who wants to please you and who will look into your eyes while he is doing it. He can try some of your chocolate here too.

5) COMMITMENT. Yes, hold the phone ~ MEN ARE WILLING TO COMMIT. Not just to anyone though. Men will give their lives for a woman who understands a man and what he needs (listen to my interview with Alison Armstrong for more great info on this). So, we want commitment from men and they are willing to give it - so what is the problem? This my friends, we will address for years to come…

What women have grown bored with are: Commands, condos, cash, cock and cars

As women increasingly provide more and more for themselves monetarily, material items become less and less important. As women become more self aware and self loving, anger from a man is a big relationship killer. Also, I still think women want Cock, we just want more Cunnilingus FIRST and Cuddling AFTER.

Namaste ~

If you want to contact the originators of this very fun conversation as well as hear some AMAZING vocal percussion from a singer, songwriter, and beatboxer extraordinaire - check out Kid Beyond. He is the bomb and I am so grateful he is a homey of mine. The other fine fellow is Michael Jordan - no, not the basketball player; a producer ~ he IS tall, dark and handsome though!

A man told me today that “Women are like a pitch-black pool men want to dive into and get totally lost in. They want to almost die there in that space of total surrender to her.” Then he went on to say how rare it is to find a woman could hold such a space for a man.

I have been thinking a lot about this. A woman who can hold the kind of space this man is talking about is a woman who REALLY understands a MAN. THIS is a hot topic nowadays - who EXACTLY are these hot, hairy hunks we want so much from (and many times act like we don’t)? What do we need to know to find the kind of Princes and Kings we would want to marry?

If you haven’t already heard my interview with Alison Armstrong, check it out. She is at the forefront of leading experts helping women better understand men. Her workshop “Celebrating Men, Satisfying Women” completely changed my life. I know you will learn a thing or two as well.

Please let ME know what YOU want to know about men! We have some great shows coming up with MORE panels of men to help us delve deeper into the minds of these surprisingly simple and generous beings - and I want YOUR questions to be answered!

In love and service,

Alissa

Another great host on the Personal Life Media network, Chip August (host of Sex, Love and Intimacy) posted a great blog about a concept I am developing about the creating loving relationships!

“We were both struck by the seeming vacuum of self-help information for people who are somewhere between just-beginning-to-date and committed-to-a-relationship. Alissa referred to them as in “lovership”, says Chip in his blog post.

Yes it is true - how to go from “Casual to Committed” as Christian Carter would say, is a whole area that I am studying because I will say it is THE number one desire single women request the most help with.

I did an interview with Christian Carter recently where I go more deeply into this “lovership” concept to help women understand the necessary awareness, self-love, self-respect and commitment to SELF that is required to attract and KEEP the love of your dreams. Post a comment with your inquiry if you would like more info on how to get a copy of that CD.
Also, stay tuned for my SUMMER OF LOVE series where I will interview Chip August on what we need to know about MEN TODAY!

WOW! I feel completely honored that the co-founder of Personal Life Media reviewed Just for Women and gave it glowing reviews! Susan Bratton reviewed the interview with Zen DeBrucke about how we can use our Internal Guidance System to find all the answers we will ever need.
“Alissa is very, very appealing. Her questions of her guests come from a deep experience in this field and are waaaay better than anything a typical woman might think to ask. She wrings a LOT of of every guest every week and she always finds very unique, insightful guests that challenge us as listeners.” Click here to read the rest of the review!

I am so happy to have that kind of feedback! And listeners - I want you to know that I am open to hearing what kinds of topics you want to hear on the show! What are you struggling with, what do you want clarity on, what would love to have more insight into? Let me know and thanks for tuning in and staying connected!