Today I tried with my wife (unaware of what I was doing) some of the tantric and touch techniques covered. First off, the kids went off with some friends for a few hours, I found an internet radio station playing sexy ambient music, and I came up behind her and slide him my hands under her shirt. I lightly touched her belly and sides, while kissing her neck. After some time, she turned and we started kissing.

I think kissing is one of the most important parts of love making, nothing gets the energy flowing like a light kiss slowly becoming hotter and stronger. First light lips, then open mouth, then light tongue, building to a deep frenching. I’ve been with my wife for over twenty years and I still savor every kiss like that.

As the kissing went on our hands started exploring more sensual parts. She ran her hand across my ass and up the fronts of my legs, I removed her shirt and pulled down a bra strap exposing her right breast. Light strokes led to light pinching led to licking and sucking. The tops of her nipples are the most sensitive so I concentrated there.

Eventually her bra, shorts and panties came off and she go on all fours on the bed. This turned out to be a wonderful position for what came next.

I decided to take my time and explore her pussy. The labia majora were teased, then the inside lips. I never really paid attention to the lips before, just the clit and inside. This time I stroked, I lubed, I licked, I teased.

Finally i touched what you call the “sacred spot”, I teased it with my left hand while my right index finger massaged her g-spot. I kissed around her anus and lightly licked.

Her breathing quickened, deepened, and then she came.

Boy, did she.

As she came down from it she tensed up and then I couldn’t really take her higher. I need to practice the grounding.

As we laid down together, the phone rang and …

In the end there was “happy endings” all around….

The reason why Ray can be a master lovemaker is that Ray is, first, a master communicator. It’s a skill that I wish I had to his degree.

The feminists are wrong; men do want to have women as full partners in our lives, including sexually. It’s simply a matter of honest communication. *Any* woman can come her eyes out, and any man can learn to make her do so.

To me, women truly want to know that it’s OK to have fantasies and to be sexual creatures but they also want to know that their partner desires them, supports them and has patience for their own personal sexual journey.

From there you each can step out into the world and find and create mental stimuli that can be carried back into the bedroom and lead to a whole and satisfying sex life. With confidence and trust you can avoid denying any part of yourself and end up being open and fulfilled.

Building upon this foundation, the mental stimulation I crave is anything that has an element of adventure,that pushes the edge, that has evidence of enthusiasm, or that stretches my mind.

My current lover and I met online and in some ways we are very much alike. It really felt like a second chance for me, and we’ve been together for a several years now. He is loving and eager to please, commited, hardworking, really my best friend mind body and soul. He is quite a bit younger than me and we met online, so our starting points were cyber and other worldly; really different from the sort of gradual meeting and getting to know one that was my previous experience. Because he was not experienced, I was kind of pressed into a position of teacher.

Well having grown up really sheltered and also in a location (city,state) that is very religious, I really had no tools at all for sharing the real magic and depth of my experience. Now several years later, I’m not performing, I’m not making myself available and I’ve started to realize that it is this lie that stands between us. If I could share what I want and need, I could be more engaged, but I don’t have the language and it’s like I’ve been keeping this beautiful terrible secret; that there is more to teach and share and be, but I haven’t known how to begin.

I would not have gone looking for the information in this form, but stumbling on to it, I’m really finding it fun and informative. It’s like I should have known that every adult needs to spend some time with loving, adult, tasteful and sensual information. Thank you!

He tells me how much he loves going down on me, which, as Dr. Kerner pointed out, is very reassuring. If he’s totally turned on by what he’s doing, I can be too! He starts slow and builds upon my pleasure as my body responds to him. He touches me and tastes me in different ways each time we’re together, even venturing into anal teasing occasionally, which I’ve found to be very erotic although I would have never thought so before he asked if it was okay to try it. And he gets thoroughly excited, even telling my how much it’s turning him on, when he’s making me cum. I find that having him actually tell me how much of a turn on it is at the very moment of release just intensifies my pleasure and reiterates that it’s OK to respond to him the way that I do. Once he gets me that worked up, I get off very, very easily as the minutes turn into hours when we’re together. And I’m not exaggerating there!

But I also know now that part of my enjoyment stems from being in tune with my own mind and body. I learned quite a while ago that I need to let my mind relax during sex to find my orgasm, and now I understand exactly what’s going on. I see that I’m following a path to heightened sensuality that, quite frankly, is very exciting to this middle-aged woman. It’s actually fantastic! Please keep giving us these affirming messages that also teach us how to please and be pleased in new and enticing ways.

Here’s a simple way to enter “Tantra Space”. Lovers in bed lie on their sides, with faces a foot or so apart. Alternate breathing, exhaling with pursed lips so that the other is inhaling their lover’s breath. Stay comfortable, and don’t move. Using a soft gaze, each stares into the left eye of the other (this prevents distracting eye jittter). Breath deeply, very deeply and exhale naturally without effort. Breath so deeply your lungs are grasping for the last few molecules of air available.

Lovers will naturally and inevitably enter Tantra Space doing this. How do you know you’re in Tantra Space? Time slows down. The mind feels in a bit of a trance. You lover’s face will distort and may even transform into something else.

Yes, you are both getting naturally stoned without drugs. Continue eye gazing and breathing deeply. Experiment with the paradigm of breathing deeply, as if reaching for the last bit of smoke from a joint. Remind each other to keep breathing deeply and gaze softly. It’s fun, but legal and healthy. If things get too intense, simply return to regular breathing and break eye contact.

When you’ve learned how to enter & stay in Tantra Space, here’s some fun things you can layer on top of your alternate breathing. You’ll be doing two things at once.

* Lightly stroke your partner’s body. Lightly stroke their genitals.
* Kiss, continuing this alternate breathing.
* “Love Rap”. I adore this one! Extemporaneously, without thought, tell your partner in soft tones how much you love them and how sexy they are.
* Give a soft, long genital massage using lots of lubricant. Maintain eye contact and gently blow breath at your partner during exhalation when you’re farther apart.
* During exhalation, whisper something like “Love” or “Ahhhh” or “You’re sexy”
* Intercourse. Certainly!!!, but try to maintain the Tantra Space with breathing and eye contact.
* Sex toys. A Hitatchi wand with this exercise can blast you into other dimensions.
* Try combining more than two of the exercises above, and invent your own!

I pass along some caveats. Check with your doctor for possible cardiopulmonary problems which breathwork might trigger. Repressed emotions might arise. If so, acknowledge them and either deal with them in Tantra Space or return to the ordinary world by breaking eye contact and normal breathing.

Also, if this adds jazz to your sex life, be aware you’re not really doing Tantra. You’ve been doing the equivalent of riding a tricycle around “Tantra preschool”. Interested in learning more? Find a good Tantra/Sensuality instructor, attend workshops and read books.

www.JacksonHoleTantra.com